Last Look of Your Face

Another drama while in the car...

Salmon: I wanna look at you more to remember your face. Won't be able to see you for 2 months.

Bear: No need to remember. You can always see my pictures from Facebook.

The salmon is quite the romantic person. Bear on the other hand is more realistic. Still, Bear enjoys salmon's antics. 

Well, Bear is no longer going to Kedah. Instead will be heading to Jelebu, somewhere in Negeri Sembilan. The salmon was quite relieved to hear the news. 

That's all from me for now. Stay tune for more drama to come.

Time Flying Faster

Each day passes so fast. My uni days are coming to an end in a few months. Semester breaks are always somewhat 'short' to me. Weekends past even faster now that I am doing my internship. I know things are gonna be like this when I get a job in future. People as they grow older, they always wish to return to their childhood. Fortunately, I am showing no such symptoms. I love my life. I love how I lived my life until now. I never want to return to the past and certainly wish that I will not end up like others who always complain to me how nice it was back in the older days. It sounds so pathetic. As if they have nothing to look forward to. 

 Anyway, I just watched John Carter today in the cinema. A good watch. Something like Avatar + Star Wars.

Internship

Holy crap... It's been quite some time since I wrote anything here. Just some updates in my life. It's been 3 crazy weeks in my internship. I wouldn't want to disclose too much about it but all is good now. I am glad to have a tough and demanding supervisor around me. When I first started the internship, things were rough. I was so stressed out due to communication problems with the boss. I also constantly gave excuses to myself for not being capable to deliver what he wants or expects from me. I was so demotivated because everyone tells me that I got the toughest supervisor of all and wished me good luck. Things are so tough here that 2 of my coursemates are leaving for another internship at another company. 

The negativity lingered around me for days. I even had nightmares when I sleep. Things took a little change when I remembered how miserable life in the ward was. I then compared life in the office and life in the ward and thought to myself, this was nothing. Yup, it's just another challenge in life. I gotta stay positive that this is all a learning process. Wow... I am so pumped up for the coming week. ROAR!!!

Am I too Nice?

It's amazing how certain people who doesn't even meet me up for a drink or chat can suddenly just pop up out of nowhere and ask me for favour. Honestly, the old me would really try to help these people, but the me NOW will try to ignore them. Just recently, some people called me up so that they can try to sell me insurance. Another talked to me in hopes of using my ID to apply for student car pass for university since I am a final year student. 

Others messaged me to vote for their campaign, pictures and so on. They will tell me how they need to win the competition and get the cash prize cos they are short on money. These same people owns a car, can afford to travel out of Malaysia and have the most updated gadgets. Are they trying to fuck with me?

Finally Over

What a bitch! My so-called 'thesis' have been printed out and is ready for submission this afternoon. I would like to thank the faculty admins for doing a hell of a job. I love it when they set 3 different standards for writing to make my life a living hell (standard A from supervisor, standard B from office admin, standard C from coordinator). Also, thank you to Ms H (my project guide) for ignoring my calls and sms during the process of writing. Seriously, the only person I want to thank and say sorry to is dardar for all the trouble that I have caused him. 

Anyway, the CNY is almost here and it is time to go back to my home in Kepong. I have not gone back to my home ever since the hospital incident. Reason being that my mom and I are not in talking terms. I was enraged by her constant nagging that I am not as good as my friends. Always telling me to not make her heart sick. Consistent reminder to me that I have to do better in studies (anyone wanna tell me how to get higher than 4.0 GPA?). I am just so fed up with all this nonsense. She always make me feel that I am not good enough. Is it really so difficult to praise me even once? Enough is enough already. I am no longer gonna give a fuck about all this shit.

Life in The Ward

So i spent 5 days of my life in the ward. Apparently I cocktail of diseases that I had was sign of something worse. The morning on a Sunday, I woke up with some chest pain and difficulty in breathing. I was scared as shit so I told my mom about it. As always, she asks if I wanna go see a doctor. But I just have to spare myself from my mom's full hour lecture of how I never take care of myself (and my mom very panicky and sometimes lack empathy), so I called dardar to come get me to a hospital instead. I had a spontaneous pneumothorax. The doctors estimated that about 90 percent of my left lung was collapsed. What I understand is that my left lung was compressed by air leaked out from my lung. So the doctors punched a hole under the region of my armpit and suck out the air. I was then left in the ward to recover. 

The 5 days spent in Selayang Hospital was actually quite eventful. Friends and family came to visit me. Lecturers, coursemates and teachers messaged me to give me support. What meant to me most was dardar being there for me everyday although not all the time since he needs to work. It's not easy for someone to come visit me everyday after work until almost midnight. I love you so much piko-chan.

The hospital staffs are quite nice to me (those working the morning shifts!). And the male nurse and doctors look quite cute too hehehe... 

 Don't you wish your doctor looks like this~

The last 2 nights there was a total nightmare because there was an old man shouting on top of his lungs for 48 hours without break in some dialect I don't understand. Hardly gotten any sleep those 2 days. Very unfortunately, a man in his 40s with lung cancer opposite my bed died on one night. It was actually one of my hope to see such an event because i wanted to know how things really happen in real life not like in TV. But it's really not a nice feeling because you can feel how the family does not want to give up on the patient when he lost his pulse and heartbeat. Sorrow was in the air as family members cried while doctors could no longer revive the man.

Anyhow, I am now almost fully recovered and can run in no time. Hehehe....

The Cycle

For the past few months, I have been falling sick, then recover, then sick again, then recover and now sick again. It always starts of with sorethroat, then diarrhea and fever. This time worse, flu and cough have been added to the equation. Aside from my unhealthy lifestyle, the Malaysian weather ought to be blamed. Then couple that with unhygienic food, I end up with a wonderful cocktail of diseases.

Dream: Big Apple

Not too sure if you guys are following my updates in facebook, but yesterday I had a funny dream while i was taking a nap in my hostel room. The dream was about me sleeping in my hostel room and I was awakened when my ex-roommate, Meng returned. He was holding a box of Big Apple doughnuts that he made! I don't really know what's the occasion but he asked if i would finish them (I assume he made them for his gf but they couldn't finish them). I wonder I am having some craving for doughnuts or I actually miss my ex-roommate LOL... Perhaps both but this semester will the last semester I will be in UPM. In fact, so far for the past week here I have met plenty of cute guys. Out of the 4 years here, this year is the most! Not just cute locals, but good looking middle eastern guys as well as twinky Thai boys. OMGosh! 

Just this morning, there was an adorable nerdy chinese 1st year who came up to me to ask for directions as well as recommendation on where to have meals.  He followed me around as I show him the way. He then asked me where I would go next. Too bad I wasn't feeling well or else I would have had brunch with him. Hehehe... The thing is, I was already eye-ing on him since we took the same bus.

Full of Crap

Many people bullshit all the time. But some people gets all the attention they want coz they are good looking and popular among their peers. Whatever shit they post on their facebook always get commented. Bcoz of that, these people tend to update their facebook like~ every 2 to 3 hours. Ever encounter these type of people? 

Examples of things they say...

Gals fight, frens tmr..
Guys fight, dunno when cn end..

A leader is a good leader if he/she has good followers...

What the fking bullshit is this?!!! Tons of no-brainers will like their post and say they agree. Are you freaking kidding me?! Let's take the 2nd example, If Najib were given a group of good followers then he is a good leader? What kinda shit ass logic is this? But seriously, our government is actually kinda smart to deliberately educate students to be stupid. In the end it's easier to control a bunch of idiot.

Paranoid Mom

Friday evening before the rally...


Mom: Boy, where are you?
Bear: Why?
Mom: Just tell me where are you?
Bear: In uni...
Mom: Tomorrow don't go anywhere and don't wear yellow. Just stay at home.
Bear: Why?!
Mom: Tomorrow will have road block and is dangerous to be outside.
Bear: Nothing will happen lah~
Mom: No! Promise me you will stay at home. You don't know what will happen.
Bear: okay okay... =.="

Updates

HUH... finally done with lab experiments for my final year project. Next stage will be testing the so-called probionts on the live animals. At the moment, free! My lifestyle has change a little. I don't usually read the news. But due to influence from a particular person, I have been reading news daily. Good change I suppose. 

As for my social life, let's just say I don't really have one. Probably because not many people have the same interest as me. I DON'T like window shopping aka walking aimlessly, gatherings more than 4 people, watching movies on the first week of release, talking about girls, concerts, noisy places, smokey area, mamak with bad drinks AND far away.

Perhaps like dardar said, I am an old man trapped in a young body. I like my life simple and less hassle. Life is troublesome as it is, make it simple.

Waking up in the month of May

People at the lab probably thinks I am lazy coz I am not at the lab the whole day. People kept asking me where I am just because they are late to the lab. I am there early. Finishes my work early and of coz I leave early. No point being at the lab when I have nothing else to do right?

On the side note, I know I have been away for a VERY long time. I just didnt have any motivation to continue blogging. Probably I have been spending more time in gaming, lab work as well as watching reality tv show, survivor. Currently watching season season 17, survivor: Gabon and I must say some of those guys are really cute.

Also, my birthday just passed a few days ago. This time around only a few people wished me since I have placed a fake birthdate on my facebook. Really thanks to those few who wished me. Really made my day. Mom brought my sis and I to Daorae, korean restaurant. their BBQ pork and chicken slices are really good. Thier hotpot was okay too, just wished that their prawns were bigger. Dardar on the other hand brought me to Umai-ya, japanese buffet. Food was good especially their unagi. with free flow of tiger beer I think it's very worth the price. Do check it out!

I think that is all from me this time. 

The Generation Gap

While having lunch with Pat, he asked me what is it like to be with someone who is alot older. Piko-chan is indeed a decade plus older than me, but I don't find us very much different. Or perhaps I don't really think about our differences. Our similar interest is what binds us. We both enjoy playing online games together. We enjoy cruising together. I like whites. He likes jap and chinese. But throughout our time together, I have developed some interest in the others too. I still dun like jap porn though. SUX big time! 

We both like to eat. I like to critic what I eat but piko-chan never talks much about the taste. He wallops almost anything. I LOVE mangoes. My eyes blings whenever I see mango. While piko-chan loves bananas. Heck! I bet most of my readers love 'bananas' too. HaHaHa...

He likes sleeping longer hours on weekends coz he don't need to work while I prefer waking up early to engage in games that stimulate the mind. He likes reading. I read 3 books from his shelves and I think it was one of the most extraodinary thing anyone can see me doing. Reading books is BORING!

Piko-chan is a person that search for info (wikipedia, etc.) about a movie before we watch it. I just watch anything that I feel is good enough from the poster or trailer. Piko-chan doesn't want to watch horror movies coz he is scaredy-cat. I watch horrors eventhough I am more afraid than him.

In the end, gap or not doesn't really matter. What matters to me is staying happy together. I do my part to paint a smile on him coz seeing him smile makes me smile.

Hypocrite

I have said it many times. I am a hypocrite and so are you. It's the ugly truth but not many of us realize it. Few days ago, I played a prank on one of my coursemate. She was unhappy with it. One of her friend came to me and said I was evil. The fact is, they have did the same to me last time. What I did wasn't revenge. But perhaps a reminder that we are indeed similar beings.

The next issue is "Mengumpat". It's a malay word that means talk bad about someone else. I almost always talk to Pat in cantonese. Malay colleagues around me would say "mengumpat saya ke?" which means are u talking bad about me? They would go on to say that it is "berdosa" or sinful to talk bad about others. Honestly, whenever we speak in cantonese they assume that we talk bad about them. But if they had never done wrong, why would they worry of others were talking bad about them? I am sure some of you have got certain languages that u are more comfortable to speak as they remain the faster media to convey/receive the message. I have never had any suspicions about them when they spoke in their Kelantan/Terengganu village slang. How fair is that?

Then again, I had a coursemate that told me what they did was wrong too. She too is a muslim and she told me it is also bad to "buruk sangka" which means to have negative suspicions about others. Whatever it is, I know we are all hypocrites. The END~

The Cycle Begins Again

Am I a celebrity or what? People come up to me and ask me about my results and before I could answer them, they assumed that I got 4.0 again. It's like history is repeating itself. However, some things have changed. First week of the sem and I have no reports or what-so-ever to do. Cool huh! (YES, it is cool coz I always have assignments and reports on the first week of lecture). In fact, many of my lecturers aren't even in uni now. The best thing is, they are my fav lecturers! No sweat this sem. YAY! 

Then, I bumped into one of my sarawakian friend. He is getting cuter btw. urm urm... I get so excited everytime I bump into him. *giggles*.

The library took a change too, I can no longer play any facebook applications. It is definitely a good thing. The library is so empty now, I can use the comps here whole day. The weather on the other hand has been kind. It's cloudy today and it makes me feel lazy. So lazy I could just doze off. The only thing that keeps me awake would probably be the cute guys that are occasionally appearing out of no where.

Last but not least, chinese new year is around the corner. Spring cleaning and shopping season is here again. ugh... The yearly chore is back. I don't feel lke going home. So troublesome...

Home Alone

I am sooo bored. The Atlantica server is down for maintenance and honestly, that's the only thing I have been doing at home for as long as I can recall. Occasionally I workout when I feel motivated. Well, usually after admiring hunky dudes like this one~

Or this one~

Then when I get real horny is time for some p0rn artsy movie and some activity that I think many guys are familiar with. lol... So, what do you do home alone on a holiday?

You Again Movie Review

 Adorable James Wolk & Odette Yustman

The movie depicts how school life is for some of us. It also tells of how the experiences makes us to be who we are today. Everyone goes true different stuff in their life. Some being the bullies and some being the ones that always get picked on. Some always shine in the spotlight while others just being the background. You know how some people always tend to be the ones in the middle of the picture. The famous one that everyone wants to stand with. I am never that person. Always being by the side of pictures is me. But things took a change when I entered uni. People notice me. As much as I dislike my coursemates, they aren't that bad. I reevaluated my friends from high school and sad to say, I find some of them too fake. Some of them say they care about me when they actually never even get to know me. Some old friends suddenly turned cold for whatever reason they have.

 Sean Wing is so CUTE!!!

In the movie, Kristen Bell had a shock of her life when she discovers that her arch nemesis was going to marry his brother, James Wolk. Dwelling in her miserable past, she did everything possible to prevent Odette Yustman (The Bully) from marrying her brother. But of course in the end she forgives her for what was already in the past. This is what I like about the movie, it tells us that no matter what wrong doings a person might have did to us in the past we should always give them a second chance. People can change. Carrying a bag of hatred can be really tiring. Taking revenge might backfire and makes things worse. 

Jamie Lee Curtis & Sigourney Weaver (also rivals in the movie)

If you are looking for some movie to just laugh it all out, this is a good one. The 2 guys are really cute too. Hehehe...

Unexpected

My finals started yesterday. It was okay I guess. After the paper, Pat and I went for a movie at The Mines TGV. Pathetic! The cinema only had 4 movies on that day. Out of the 4 movies, 2 were local production. Since Pat had watched Sammy the Turtle, we opted for The Other Guys. Nice movie. Made me laughed the whole time. Wanna know more? Watch it yourself... Pat and I had a little talk too. Apparently, he didn't expect 'us' to last until now. He thought we would have broke off in half a year time. I asked why and he replied that I am someone that would get bored at something real quick. I guess there are many things that don't always follow our expectations. I also didn't expect the movie to be so funny. hehehe...

Spare Me Tyre

Last week, I had to skip japanese lesson coz the tyre finally gave in. My first experience changing tyre with dardar. I wanted to help but dardar won't let me touch coz he say it's dirty. awww... Very lucky that we had shelter and not under the hot afternoon blaze. I was also lucky enough to get to see the whole process. Definitely less panicky if it ever happens to me.

Shark Tale

I have never felt more dreaded than this Monday morning. Reluctantly I went for the usual genetics lecture. I swear I could have fall asleep if the room temperature was any colder. I could barely understand anything the prof was talking about. My brains just wanna shutdown and enter sleep mode. The clock striked 12, everyone leapt with joy. By the time i woke up from my induced zombie state, half of the class has already left. About 10 of them were still around as they need to resit some failed paper. Pat and I then walked out of the lecture room and found ourselves in a pretty scary situation.

Some coursemates were chatting with Prof Shark.

Prof Shark: Who is Bear?
silence...
Prof Shark: You know who is Bernard Bear? (asking Pat)
Pat:... (pointing at me)

Shit! What does the shark wanna do with me.  Some shit is bound to happen!

Bear: yea, anything?
Prof Shark: So you are Bear. You are the top scorer?

WTF! How the heck did he know. I did not cheat in exam!

Bear: err... is there any problem? (still don't know what is his intention)
Prof Shark: Tak de (no problem). Keep it up.
Bear: okay...

Pat suspects that the coursemates might have leaked some info to him that leads him to me. Gosh! He is one of the lecturers that I would wanna avoid at all cost. He is not named Prof Shark for nothing. Anyway, I got away unscathed. Bound to meet him again during the FYP presentation. I smell trouble!