Unsettling

I always imagined myself as a piece in a picture. A picture that I could never find myself fit in. I then stumbled upon a beautiful picture fragment That fragment brought me into a new picture, one which was half filled. Together, we painted the rest of the picture with our memories. Sure the picture isn't perfect, but it is the most wonderful picture I have ever seen.

It is tough to be apart for so long. I must admit. Everyday I am plagued by the misery of having to enjoy the beautiful scenery by myself. All I could do was to imagine my love being by my side. I know that he would enjoy the scenery more than I would. Sure that work here is almost stress free. But it certainly comes with a price, the price of having more time vacant for my mind. Time and again I reevaluated our relationship. Does our relationship resemble to father and son? brothers? or best friend? 

I searched deep within my heart. I asked if I love him. And yes I do. How else can I miss him so. But is it really okay not to be sexually attracted to him? We both know that we enjoy each others presence. We enjoy each others company. Is that feeling all that really matters? Unsettled. I stared into the woods, the beautiful trees and blanket of mist, wishing that I would never revisit these thoughts again.

Time Flying Faster

Each day passes so fast. My uni days are coming to an end in a few months. Semester breaks are always somewhat 'short' to me. Weekends past even faster now that I am doing my internship. I know things are gonna be like this when I get a job in future. People as they grow older, they always wish to return to their childhood. Fortunately, I am showing no such symptoms. I love my life. I love how I lived my life until now. I never want to return to the past and certainly wish that I will not end up like others who always complain to me how nice it was back in the older days. It sounds so pathetic. As if they have nothing to look forward to. 

 Anyway, I just watched John Carter today in the cinema. A good watch. Something like Avatar + Star Wars.

Connecting Heart

I know of how ugly my temperaments can get. I am not always sunny, coz even the weather have to rain sometimes. Distractions keep me from being logically at times. Too many things going on makes me forget about taking care of your feelings. And they say to err is human. Last night was another heart to heart talk. I know we grow to know each other better. It's true when I say that I look at you before going to bed every night because I want to remind myself how fortunate I have been to have you by my side. I am well aware that you always try your best to fulfill my wishes. Demanding I can be but you always try to be there for me whenever you can. I realize when I say that I am much of a attention seeker. I can't sit still. That is just part of me. Always trying to do something weird or out of place even if when we are busy with our work. For me, it is just a way to relieve stress. And I know that you know.

Surprises

Surprises. It come when you least expect it. Since the day I expect nothing from life. I found life to be relatively more surprising and interesting.
Like how I didnt expect MapleStory to be fun when I have so long not touched it. Even when I have lost so much after my account got hacked, I still find it fun to play and full of surprises.
Like how I didn't expect my MouseHunt trap to catch any mouse, but to my surprise I caught some rare stuff.
Like how I didn't expect my frens to react to my sexual preference. They were really supportive and understanding.
Like how I didn't expect my sister to love the birthday present I got her. She immediately emptied her old pencil case and filled the 1 I got her. I was surprised and happy to see her reaction.
I feel so surprised at how people would react as I no longer expect anything. And this feeling is so comfortable. I don't even go around teasing and scolding my sisters now. I guess this lesson has taught me to control my emotions and behaviour better. I would like to thank Evann for his post on The Empty Boat. It has brought peace to my mind and I now value harmony. Thank you Evann!



~Surprises come in times you least expect them~