Full of Crap

Many people bullshit all the time. But some people gets all the attention they want coz they are good looking and popular among their peers. Whatever shit they post on their facebook always get commented. Bcoz of that, these people tend to update their facebook like~ every 2 to 3 hours. Ever encounter these type of people? 

Examples of things they say...

Gals fight, frens tmr..
Guys fight, dunno when cn end..

A leader is a good leader if he/she has good followers...

What the fking bullshit is this?!!! Tons of no-brainers will like their post and say they agree. Are you freaking kidding me?! Let's take the 2nd example, If Najib were given a group of good followers then he is a good leader? What kinda shit ass logic is this? But seriously, our government is actually kinda smart to deliberately educate students to be stupid. In the end it's easier to control a bunch of idiot.

Ripple Effect

Some of you may have read the blog description below the title of my blog - "Every step leaves ripples for the earth keeps all records". I wrote that when I first started blogging. Whether it is grammatically correct or not I shall leave it as it is. But what I wanna tell is that no matter what we do, consciously or sub-consciously it always leave a ripple effect. In the ripple, your action is that center where it starts the ripple. It then expands and touches others. By others, I mean other people.

An example, my mother used to think that the 3R campaign is a waste or time. Only people without a life would be bothered about it. At that time I thought it was troublesome, the teachers wants every student to send in recyclable materials to the school. I started doing it and told my mom what to be kept. I will not lie, she was not keen about it at first because she thinks it's keeping rubbish. After about a year doing it at home, she got so excited about doing it because other parents are also involved and she don't want to lose out. Same goes for the usage of plastic bags.

As of late, I have been watching lots of YouTube videos. I somehow got caught up again with the way Americans speak. Their intonation and the way they express their feeling is what I view as interesting. And they make those cute little faces when they make their vlog. I try to incorporate that into my life cause I think it adds flavor to life. You may say that I am easily influenced by others but what the heck. Life is about changes. I love changes. Changes are fun.

My Current Stand

In response to a comment by anonymous, "well, it juz like, she might want u to get married and have a bunch of grandson/daughter for her...from ur blog i think u d only boy isnt it? so isnt juz u should carry ur family name to ur next generation...well, that's my opinion..sorry, no offence"

No offense taken.

My mum told me that she wants to travel around the world and not be my kids babysitter. Not that I do not want kids. I don't mind having adopted kids. Plus, when Hins Cheung came out, my mum still adored him and said that whoever he loves is his personal business. 

As for my family name, I don't think I have any obligations towards it. I am not into all the traditional stuff like passing on my name or whatever.

Honestly, if u are in pain because u are doing something unwillingly (such as studying medicine when your interest is fashion) do u not think that ur mom would feel the pain too. I think most parents just want to see their kids happy. My mom used to say that I should be a doctor or lawyer like most chinese parents would want. I said no because I have no interest at all. Rather than walking down a road unwillingly, I always believe that we should try to talk things out. I also believe in flexibility and freedom of choice as long as no harm onto others are done.

What Do Y'all Think?

I know it's Chinese New Year. It's all jolly nice and happy. Everyone is thinking of fun and food but mostly the latter I supposed. Yesterday, my friends came over to my home to "bai nian". A certain friend of mine did not make it and hence my mum ask why he wasn't here. Apparently, his father got cancer. Here is the situation, would you guys still visit him at his home or just leave them alone? Some of my friends think that we shouldn't be disturbing them. But in my opinion I think he needs our support. I tried calling him but he didn't answer the phone. I don't know if he was trying to avoid my calls but I really wish that he and his family are able stay positive.

And Happy New Year to all. May all that is reading this will have good health and a happy new year. 

Hypocrite

I have said it many times. I am a hypocrite and so are you. It's the ugly truth but not many of us realize it. Few days ago, I played a prank on one of my coursemate. She was unhappy with it. One of her friend came to me and said I was evil. The fact is, they have did the same to me last time. What I did wasn't revenge. But perhaps a reminder that we are indeed similar beings.

The next issue is "Mengumpat". It's a malay word that means talk bad about someone else. I almost always talk to Pat in cantonese. Malay colleagues around me would say "mengumpat saya ke?" which means are u talking bad about me? They would go on to say that it is "berdosa" or sinful to talk bad about others. Honestly, whenever we speak in cantonese they assume that we talk bad about them. But if they had never done wrong, why would they worry of others were talking bad about them? I am sure some of you have got certain languages that u are more comfortable to speak as they remain the faster media to convey/receive the message. I have never had any suspicions about them when they spoke in their Kelantan/Terengganu village slang. How fair is that?

Then again, I had a coursemate that told me what they did was wrong too. She too is a muslim and she told me it is also bad to "buruk sangka" which means to have negative suspicions about others. Whatever it is, I know we are all hypocrites. The END~

Never Forever-Lasting

Few weeks back there was a radio DJ that commented about how people think about marriage. Last time people would only think that their marriage is an eternal bond that binds the couple until they meet their grave. This may be true for many asians I supposed. He then added on that nowadays when people get married, they think of how long they will last. This really made me think why did the Terengganu government is offering free honeymoon to couples that are on the brink of divorce. There have been numeral reports that divorce rate in Malaysia is on the rise. So, do you feel the hypocrisy when straights point out that homos are discouraged because of their flamboyant nature? Then again, why are there cases of father raping their own daughter or grandchild? The LGBT has always been portrayed negatively. They just don't realize the damage they have brought upon the youngsters. 

On the other hand, I really wonder if gay couples could really live a life without penetration. I personally have never experienced anal even after being in 2 relationship. Cuddling, kissing, foreplay, mutual jerk off and some occasional oral is all that is enough for me. Anyone out there same like me?

Dealing with Pain

I am sure everyone here knows what is pain. Pain comes in many forms. The most common form of pain that we recognize would be physical pain. Be it is toothache, wounds, or self inflicted pain, we always find ways to deal with it. There are people that likes pain, the sensation is converted into pleasure in their mind. But I am not one of them, so no worries =)

There are many ways that people deal with this pain that is mostly unwanted. Pain killers, anesthetic, drugs, smoking, you name it. There are plenty. Bruises after a gruesome sparring session are normally dealt with ice.

For me, I personally find that when I concentrate on my breathing, it eases the feeling. I do wonder why doctors or nurses tell mothers to continue to breathe when delivering their infants. Anyone knows the reason?

When in pain, I find that singing a song helps to ease it too. Anyone ever tried this? I think the main thing that we have to do is to put our concentration on something else and not the on the pain. When we know it hurts and keep thinking about it, the pain will just stay there.

The same concept applies to workaholics and devoted gamers. Their focus is on work/play and when they don't think about food. They can go on the whole day without noticing hunger. But when these guys stumble upon bloggers that constantly blog about food, it reminds them of their hunger. I think most readers also get this. Even when you are not hungry, but looking at the pictures of food on William's or TZ's blog will just make you feel wanting to eat or perhaps a slight hunger. I am really amazed by how our mind could actually control so many things.

~It is all in the mind~

Getting naughty!

I must be out of my mind! I just had 1 paper this morning and guess what... I only revised in the morning at 8 then straight go exam hall at 10.30. I hope mum don't see this post(I know she wont :D). OMFG! I can't believe I did that(for the very 1st time)! cramming all the points in my head within that time limit early in the morning was seriously killin' my brain cells. :S What a naughty little bear.


Read the latest chapter of Naruto and Bleach. Was hoping for more action and less talk. Is it just me or does anyone agree with me? Anyways, will be sittin' for the next paper tomorrow evening. Certainly hope I could get my head into the game. My concentration has been off these days and mum certainly wouldnt like it! Hopefully can maintain my grades to her satisfaction. Work harder Bernard!

Somehow I don't like the previous dream that I posted. My own interpretation of the dream:

The beautiful setting is what all gay wants. To live happily as who we really are. Crystal clear skies and flowers =) But then there is this dark clouds that forms an image of a giant octopus that wants to destroy us(Hatred/homophobia?). The happy family that ran pass me towards the monster kinda signal that its what the society is(supporting homophobia?). They ran in the opposite direction with ease(straight life?) while I struggled just to take a step(hardships of leading gay life?). And finally the giant octopus trying to swallow me(break what that is left of me?). I really wonder. What does the dream mean? I dont know about it but I certainly know that the giant Tako is definitely EVIL and wants me gone.

Anyone knows how to interpret dreams?

~Not a fan of Takoyaki~

Bear on the Runway

Few days a ago I went to meet a friend of mine at his hostel. I had to return some stuff to him that night. As I was approaching him, I walked casually. He saw me and walked towards me too. The 1st sentence that came out wasn't the usual "Hi!" or "Hello". Guess what... He said "This is not a runway. There is no fashion show going on here. You don't have to walk like a model here." I was immediately giving him the =.=" look.

grabbed from lyramag.blogspot.com

grabbed from mrsmogul.blogspot.com

I was actually kinda happy with the comment of his. I may not show it on my face but in my heart I was smiling. Don't you guys think its a compliment? Maybe I am the undiscovered Malaysia Next Top Male Model! hahaha!

How about you guys? Anyone ever commented you havin' model qualities?

~Can you walk it?~

Denial

Denying who I really was... that was what I was doing a year ago up until 3 months ago. Thinking that I would be able to change. Thinking that I could bring myself to have that 'feel' towards a female homo sapien. How silly of me... How much of me that I have yet to discover? How much does my friends know about me? How much do we really know about each other? What are friends? really... more questions keeps popping up in my head. For even I don't understand about myself, don't you dare say that you understand me!

I was talking to Ben at the cafe in the evening. Ben was talking bout how he knows about Jo-n and that she will only be more furious to go play tennis alone that evening after everyone decided not to turn up. He also talked about why we MUST care, take notice and know our friends cos we wont get anywhere in life if we don't... MUST? Are you kidding me Ben? You don't even know me! And how much of life do you know about to talk about it with so much confident? Honestly, the ego of humans makes us think that we are intellectual and knowledgeable. Ben, if you are reading this... don't assume you know a lot! there is more to a person than you can ever imagine. People can change. It may take 1 year, half a year, 1 month, a week, a day, or even a minute to change!!! Don't underestimate anyone!!!

last week Bear went IK meeting in the GAZEBO. It was interesting cos they showed this video of the galaxy and stuff. I knew that the stars were beautiful as I really like to look at the skies at night. Never have I imagine about how they really look like nor have I searched or it in the Internet. But the video was to tell us that we are in fact really small. I feel so little not by comparing myself with the size of the sun nor the size of solar system or universe. For that moment, it struck me that why they need to compare with something so big to see ourselves as tiny??? Was it even necessary? I could be standing a kilometer away from you and you wouldn't even be able to recognize its me. Watching the video was interesting cos I saw many new things but I just don't get the idea of comparing so far away when the comparisons could be done on earth itself. It makes no sense to me why they keep stressing that the earth is a tiny pale blue dot! Geez... Does it matter if the earth is so damn small? wadever you wanna say lah~

~how SMALL are you?~

Assumptions

More than meets the eye

how much do we really know?

We assume too much...

You assume:

I am straight just cos I flirt with girls...

I am confused/wrong coz the bible says so...

I am unhappy cos I didn't put on my smile like I always do...

I am happy just coz I said so...

I am shy just cos I didn't take the initiative to talk to you...

I am weak just coz I look thin too you...

I am tall just cos I am a tiny bit taller than you...

I like green color just coz my shirt, K660i & frames are green...

I dont have problems just cos I said I am fine...

I don't love you just coz I don't say I love you...

Malays are lazy just cos you met those that are lazy...

Chinese to be good at math just coz you met those that are good at it...

Don't just assume. There is more truth to what our naked eyes can see, our ears can hear, our mouth can tell...

~How much do we know?~

Hungry Ghost Festival

Woo~ Woo~
7th month of the lunar calender. The gates of hell opens. They roam the lands in search for food. Be back early! or misfortune may fall upon you...
Who believes in ghosts??? i don't!!! *bleks*
You may all say that they exist and bla bla blah... whatever man!

Why u may ask... Its simple, Bear have never seen any ghost ya... not even 1, so STFU about telling me ghost stories. Since bear was young(still am), I remember mom telling me to sleep early during the 7th month of the lunar calender. I always ask her why but she just wouldn't want to answer. Then I found out from my frens in school. They just luv to talk ^^ news and info just spreads really fast in school. Countless times i asked me mom about ghost... "Mee... Does ghost exist?" or "Mee... are there any ghosts in this world?" and I would only receive the same answer "Boy... there is no such thing as ghosts". Then I say Oh~ but there is always this little fear in me that they do exist. Lurking around the corner or bathroom of my house during the festival... and this is all thanks to those horror movies!

But despite what my mom told me. She would go to the roadside and burn 'money' and offerings. Mom... I am speechless... maybe you said what you said so that I would not be afraid of them and I love you for doing that. All this while I still dare to go toilet during midnight is thanks to what you said. Bear would go in and mutter "ghost don't exist ghost don't exist" hahaha... anyway, the reason why chinese burn these offerings are so that they get good luck or to prevent misfortune as in not to anger the spirits. ceh~ wadever~


^^See No Evil^^

Big Bowl

A trip to Mines...



Hehe... what a day. Bear went shopping for clothes and in the end only can afford to get 1...

SAD T.T saw many that Bear wanted to buy.... but not enuf money~

then balik time waited for 1 and a half hour for the bus. It was worth the wait though. Bear saw many people like him too ^^

Bear talked to 2 girls... 1 chinese lookin' and 1 indian lookin'...

Bear thought they were locals BUT turns out that they aren't.

Li Yang(medic) and Ruti(vet) are their names... we chat n chat... Li Yang despite from China, she likes japan alot... Bear asked her bout the history between China & Japan and her feelings about it. Li Yang said "Its all in the past, a history. Yeah... we remember about it but its pointless to have any grudge against them. Instead, we should learn from it. Japan is a strong country and i actually admire them. I even learned Japanese just so i could watch their cartoons and animations"... Listening to what she said, i felt sad for 1 of my friend. He couldn't let go of the past.



Bear further asked Li Yang about her view about chinese people that don't speak mandarin and if the language is an identity to being a chinese. She replied "I don't get what u mean... u look like us too. why wouldn't you be a chinese? just because you are unable to converse in mandarin doesnt mean you are not chinese. You can speak other languages right? But in China we must be capable of speaking mandarin because everyone does. But here in Malaysia we speak any language as long as others understand what we say"... again, listening to those words Bear felt that many mandarin educated chinese in Malaysia are doing nonsense.



'Banana' is what they call chinese that can't converse in mandarin. Bear asked a friend of his who is a chinese Malaysian why... and the answer is WE only look like chinese but in the inside WE aren't. And when Bear asked him do you think we are chinese, he answered NO. He further added that the language is an identity to being a chinese. WTF was all that about... It seems to Bear that the education system has been set to make the thinking of Malaysians to be conservative. For some reason some don't fall for it and am lucky Bear is one of them. In university, whenever Bear speak to a chinese in English, they would stare at Bear or ask if i could speak in mandarin. Bear would go like WTF if wrong with you??? can't u even try to speak english??? it seems that they have their REASONS ~it feels closer speaking in mandarin~

yeah rite... to HELL with it!!! the real reason for those who doesn't want to speak in english is that they SUCK at it and they are afraid of people laughing at them. You know what.... these people do exist and they are around Bear in university. The hell is wrong with them??? if u don't speak in english how are you going to improve??? how are you going to work outside??? are you going to just serve those that can speak mandarin??? but lucky for Bear =) i love it when they speak mandarin. Gives Bear more chances in learning mandarin. And Bear is really thankful that these people exist for some reason. LOL!!!

Opppsss... the post was supposed to be about my shopping but went out of topic ady ~.~

anyhoo~ Bear saw this banner on the left in the Mines. WOAH!!! Bear saw it and was immediately hungry... but was disappointed when saw the date =.=" Bear wonders if he would be able to pull it off... hehe ^^ really wanna try it out ya =) but Bear is lookin' for frenz to join him... wouldn't be fun to do it alone right??? hehe... anyone out there that wants to join Bear in conquering sushi king challenge???

^^ROAR!!! take the challenge^^