J: The Romantic Bastard

Thursday, December 23, 2010

 I have been missing for a few days. Reason is that I had trip to Ipoh for the very first time. All thanks to request from J. We were there to act as extras for a local tv series, Rantau Harimau. The setting was taken in a waterfall area in Tapah. The place is pretty cool, flowing river, hot spring and lots of butterflies to watch. If lucky there may even be fireflies at night. I didn't get the chance to explore Ipoh cause I wasn't there for a vacation. But the nice part of the whole acting thing is that I got to meet lots of different people. Some were 1st timers like me, some were seasoned actors, soldiers as well as some part timers. They also look gorgeous! Imagine hunky Malay soldiers walking topless in the scenes and cute chinese Ipoh twinks all over the sets. hohoho... 
 That aside, I was actually quite frustrated with J. Not because he gave all his attention to pleasing his gf but because of the constant teasing. I was being made the teasing subject almost all the time and I don't like it. I admit I am a little short temper and I blame it on not just myself, but also the exhaustion, insect bites and lack of sleep. And when I am pissed off, it totally shows on my face. I never understood why I always try to help this bastard whenever he asks for help. It was when he showed his concern, I realized that he wasn't just any other friend that I have. He is more. I never wanted to admit it but he is my best friend along with pat, WH and a few others. 

They are the people that I can talk to about anything. They won't give me the weird stare or too much info thingy. The whole trip made me realized that I still have a life with my buddies. One of the funniest thing was when he said our friendship until was based on his persistence. True, he never gave up on it. When he told me he remembers how he consistently asked my name and I just ignored him, if he gave up then we would never have been friends till now. It made me chuckle. I teared. I didn't know he would recall. He apologized and asked why I was unhappy.
 When he said he didn't want to lose his best friend just because he wanted to make others laugh, I lost my words. Things he said that night was what I longed to hear. For me to confirm that I wasn't just a tool or nobody in his life. Damn it, I had the biggest cheek shower this year that night. I know a female best friend of a queer would be a fag hag but what about guys that are best friends of a gay dude? Dardar pointed out that it's abnormal to have ex to be best friends, is it?

Slippery Anniversary + Yen Shabu Shabu

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Shoe size 43. What a slippery experience. My first time ice-skating. OMG. I fell a few times. So damn embarrassing. Dardar legs were hurting so he didn't skate. Took me about 20minutes to get rid of the fear of falling. Quite similar to swimming, just need to eliminate the fear of drowning and voila! I managed to skate slowly without support rounding and rounding the ring (so proud of myself LOL)! I have been to Sunway Pyramid a few times and I always notice cuties or lengzai skating there. The thing is, they are not just there for looks. They can really skate. They glide here and there, so pro... a couple times they just chill in front of me XD... So wasted, there was once I fell and got one cute guy wanna help me get up but I was too shy so I got up on my own. Haiz... should have taken the opportunity. hehehe... anniversary

Then we had our dinner @ Yen Shabu Shabu in Menjalara. Their pork slice and mutton slice were really good. They have free flow of drinks(my fav iced lemon tea) and not so common ice-cream selection (tiramisu, durian, grape). Their sauce are good too, especially the chicken rice chili sauce, tomyam sauce and sweet sour chili sauce. On mondays to thursdays they have special dish called Sha-Tien gai. A must try if you are there on any of those days. Their pumpkin puff side dish is also worth trying!

Unfading Love

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I was with J a couple of days ago and he hit me with a question. He asked me if my love for dardar was fading away. What he meant was that if our love have turned into a norm. Something that we do daily and no longer have the passion and infatuation we first started. The odd thing is, it took me some time to actually fall in love with him. Yes, it was not love at first sight. We were together and I wasn't in love with him from the start. Through the ups and down of our time together, I developed feelings for him. It struck me that I am in love with him when things went downhill and he suggested that we breakup. I guess there are times when I do take things for granted. That night I cried for quite some time. Hundreds of questions ran through my mind. It was only then I started to question if my feelings were real. I recall the things I have wanted to do with him but it all seems too late. From that moment on, I knew that my love for him is real. I am in love with him and I love him. And to answer J, I love him more and more everyday. I remember that I once told dardar, love is like a seed. We don't just plant it, we need to feed it with water and nutrients. It grows from care and commitment. Blossoming into a year old, it is only now that I truly understand what I once told him.