Denial

Friday, September 18, 2009

Denying who I really was... that was what I was doing a year ago up until 3 months ago. Thinking that I would be able to change. Thinking that I could bring myself to have that 'feel' towards a female homo sapien. How silly of me... How much of me that I have yet to discover? How much does my friends know about me? How much do we really know about each other? What are friends? really... more questions keeps popping up in my head. For even I don't understand about myself, don't you dare say that you understand me!

I was talking to Ben at the cafe in the evening. Ben was talking bout how he knows about Jo-n and that she will only be more furious to go play tennis alone that evening after everyone decided not to turn up. He also talked about why we MUST care, take notice and know our friends cos we wont get anywhere in life if we don't... MUST? Are you kidding me Ben? You don't even know me! And how much of life do you know about to talk about it with so much confident? Honestly, the ego of humans makes us think that we are intellectual and knowledgeable. Ben, if you are reading this... don't assume you know a lot! there is more to a person than you can ever imagine. People can change. It may take 1 year, half a year, 1 month, a week, a day, or even a minute to change!!! Don't underestimate anyone!!!

last week Bear went IK meeting in the GAZEBO. It was interesting cos they showed this video of the galaxy and stuff. I knew that the stars were beautiful as I really like to look at the skies at night. Never have I imagine about how they really look like nor have I searched or it in the Internet. But the video was to tell us that we are in fact really small. I feel so little not by comparing myself with the size of the sun nor the size of solar system or universe. For that moment, it struck me that why they need to compare with something so big to see ourselves as tiny??? Was it even necessary? I could be standing a kilometer away from you and you wouldn't even be able to recognize its me. Watching the video was interesting cos I saw many new things but I just don't get the idea of comparing so far away when the comparisons could be done on earth itself. It makes no sense to me why they keep stressing that the earth is a tiny pale blue dot! Geez... Does it matter if the earth is so damn small? wadever you wanna say lah~




~how SMALL are you?~

Assumptions

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

More than meets the eye

how much do we really know?

We assume too much...


You assume:
I am straight just cos I flirt with girls...
I am confused/wrong coz the bible says so...
I am unhappy cos I didn't put on my smile like I always do...
I am happy just coz I said so...
I am shy just cos I didn't take the initiative to talk to you...
I am weak just coz I look thin too you...
I am tall just cos I am a tiny bit taller than you...
I like green color just coz my shirt, K660i & frames are green...
I dont have problems just cos I said I am fine...
I don't love you just coz I don't say I love you...
Malays are lazy just cos you met those that are lazy...
Chinese to be good at math just coz you met those that are good at it...

Don't just assume. There is more truth to what our naked eyes can see, our ears can hear, our mouth can tell...

~How much do we know?~

Surprises

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Surprises. It come when you least expect it. Since the day I expect nothing from life. I found life to be relatively more surprising and interesting.
Like how I didnt expect MapleStory to be fun when I have so long not touched it. Even when I have lost so much after my account got hacked, I still find it fun to play and full of surprises.
Like how I didn't expect my MouseHunt trap to catch any mouse, but to my surprise I caught some rare stuff.
Like how I didn't expect my frens to react to my sexual preference. They were really supportive and understanding.
Like how I didn't expect my sister to love the birthday present I got her. She immediately emptied her old pencil case and filled the 1 I got her. I was surprised and happy to see her reaction.
I feel so surprised at how people would react as I no longer expect anything. And this feeling is so comfortable. I don't even go around teasing and scolding my sisters now. I guess this lesson has taught me to control my emotions and behaviour better. I would like to thank Evann for his post on The Empty Boat. It has brought peace to my mind and I now value harmony. Thank you Evann!



~Surprises come in times you least expect them~