Unsettling

Monday, May 28, 2012

I always imagined myself as a piece in a picture. A picture that I could never find myself fit in. I then stumbled upon a beautiful picture fragment That fragment brought me into a new picture, one which was half filled. Together, we painted the rest of the picture with our memories. Sure the picture isn't perfect, but it is the most wonderful picture I have ever seen.

It is tough to be apart for so long. I must admit. Everyday I am plagued by the misery of having to enjoy the beautiful scenery by myself. All I could do was to imagine my love being by my side. I know that he would enjoy the scenery more than I would. Sure that work here is almost stress free. But it certainly comes with a price, the price of having more time vacant for my mind. Time and again I reevaluated our relationship. Does our relationship resemble to father and son? brothers? or best friend? 

I searched deep within my heart. I asked if I love him. And yes I do. How else can I miss him so. But is it really okay not to be sexually attracted to him? We both know that we enjoy each others presence. We enjoy each others company. Is that feeling all that really matters? Unsettled. I stared into the woods, the beautiful trees and blanket of mist, wishing that I would never revisit these thoughts again.

1 comments:

Piko-chan said...

It is disheartening, surprised and sad to read it... a bag of mixed emotions... there's a lot going on in my mind...

Certainly looking forward to talk about it whenever we can.