I always imagined myself as a piece in a picture. A picture that I could
never find myself fit in. I then stumbled upon a beautiful picture
fragment That fragment brought me into a new picture, one which was half
filled. Together, we painted the rest of the picture with our memories.
Sure the picture isn't perfect, but it is the most wonderful picture I
have ever seen.
It is tough to be apart for so long. I must admit. Everyday I am plagued by the misery of having to enjoy the beautiful scenery by myself. All I could do was to imagine my love being by my side. I know that he would enjoy the scenery more than I would. Sure that work here is almost stress free. But it certainly comes with a price, the price of having more time vacant for my mind. Time and again I reevaluated our relationship. Does our relationship resemble to father and son? brothers? or best friend?
I searched deep within my heart. I asked if I love him. And yes I do. How else can I miss him so. But is it really okay not to be sexually attracted to him? We both know that we enjoy each others presence. We enjoy each others company. Is that feeling all that really matters? Unsettled. I stared into the woods, the beautiful trees and blanket of mist, wishing that I would never revisit these thoughts again.
When I woke up to the darkness
My heart felt a sense of pain
I was living in my own world
Trying so desperately
To forget all the hurt
All those lonely nights, I was by myself
I was drowning in my sadness
With no one there to turn to
I was just about to lose hope
Buryin’ all of my dreams
Thinking I could not go on
Every time I think of the wound in my heart
Even just a word can make me fall apart
But then you appeared, saving me from my despair
And now, I know that I’m no longer afraid
It’s because of you, I’ve somehow found my way
You’re the miracle who’s standing here by my side
From the depths of my heart
I just want to express
I have faith once again
I’m so thankful to have you
Your patience and your love
Have touched me so deeply that I know we will be together for eternity
Time to write something again... Life in the mountains is really so simple. Work, eat, sleep and watch TV. Occasionally I do get to go online like today. For some reason, my phone is now officially obsolete. Zero connection, I can't text or call anyone (most importantly I can't call my love)! It's now an alarm clock that needs to be recharged every 2 days. The weird thing is that my phone was still functioning and capable of sending out sms 1 week ago. Hopefully the phone is not dead yet, or I will need to scout for a replacement =)
Having that said, I am quite glad that the home is equipped with the basic Astro package. At least I won't die of boredom.
Really looking forward to the coming Thursday. I will be back in KL. Yippie!!!
It has only been a month here in Jelebu. Although I still get to see my love every 2 weeks or so, I do miss him. I still recall the time when I see him get into his car and drove back home. I stood by roadside trying hard to hold back the tears and all I can hope for is that 2 weeks would pass quickly. We have never been apart as long as this. The separation do has it's good side. Me being so accustomed to having dardar around, often took him for granted. The separation definitely helped drew us closer.