The Headache that Fired Up the Thoughts

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The headache since the early afternoon. The throbbing pain on the right side of the head, the stabbing pain on my right eye, the hard stressed muscle on the right side of my neck, the hardening pain on my right shoulder. I lie on bed next to my Bear reading The Lovely Bones. The house later went quiet. I stand by the window looking at the falling rain drops. I sat at the sofa, blinded by the cloudy sky. I continued reading but only words. I retreated myself to an empty room. No one ever goes in there except to do my ironing.

I sat crossed leg closed my eyes. Facing the window. The eerie silence of the room. Occasional sound of birds chirping, noise of neighbors dragging their chairs upstairs and cars passing by the idle room. I closed my eyes and not caring anything. Trying. I took a deep breath and reminded myself to regular breath deeply. The pain came and went. As I felt into stupor, the pain subsided.

Funny how sitting down alone, not caring anything in the world, allows all sort of thoughts running through the mind. Fear pierced through me. Why am I fearful. Why am I so conforming. Why am I excited with the attention. My mind was talking to myself with questions. Replies of I dunno.