Tribute to Nono

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Few minutes ago, he breathed his last breath. Just yesterday I still see him running around actively. He was so excited when I gave him food. Back then I always thought when is this old hamster gonna die. He looked so thin and fragile but still so active. Moments before he died, dardar took a look at him and told me that he could no longer hold on anymore. I went to see him. He was breathing very heavily. I caressed him gently. He would normally runaway from me but he stood there curled up and let me touch him. Memories came back to me how I used to try to catch him and he would run and jump and wiggle his way out. The only time he would come close to my hands was when I hand fed him. It's just so sad to see him lying on the sand box motionless. This is the first time I ever shed any tears for a pet. Good bye Nono. I will miss you much...

Shadow in the Skies

Thursday, December 1, 2011




Sunset in Puchong

Life in The Ward

Thursday, November 17, 2011

So i spent 5 days of my life in the ward. Apparently I cocktail of diseases that I had was sign of something worse. The morning on a Sunday, I woke up with some chest pain and difficulty in breathing. I was scared as shit so I told my mom about it. As always, she asks if I wanna go see a doctor. But I just have to spare myself from my mom's full hour lecture of how I never take care of myself (and my mom very panicky and sometimes lack empathy), so I called dardar to come get me to a hospital instead. I had a spontaneous pneumothorax. The doctors estimated that about 90 percent of my left lung was collapsed. What I understand is that my left lung was compressed by air leaked out from my lung. So the doctors punched a hole under the region of my armpit and suck out the air. I was then left in the ward to recover. 

The 5 days spent in Selayang Hospital was actually quite eventful. Friends and family came to visit me. Lecturers, coursemates and teachers messaged me to give me support. What meant to me most was dardar being there for me everyday although not all the time since he needs to work. It's not easy for someone to come visit me everyday after work until almost midnight. I love you so much piko-chan.

The hospital staffs are quite nice to me (those working the morning shifts!). And the male nurse and doctors look quite cute too hehehe... 

 Don't you wish your doctor looks like this~

The last 2 nights there was a total nightmare because there was an old man shouting on top of his lungs for 48 hours without break in some dialect I don't understand. Hardly gotten any sleep those 2 days. Very unfortunately, a man in his 40s with lung cancer opposite my bed died on one night. It was actually one of my hope to see such an event because i wanted to know how things really happen in real life not like in TV. But it's really not a nice feeling because you can feel how the family does not want to give up on the patient when he lost his pulse and heartbeat. Sorrow was in the air as family members cried while doctors could no longer revive the man.

Anyhow, I am now almost fully recovered and can run in no time. Hehehe....

The Cycle

Saturday, November 5, 2011

For the past few months, I have been falling sick, then recover, then sick again, then recover and now sick again. It always starts of with sorethroat, then diarrhea and fever. This time worse, flu and cough have been added to the equation. Aside from my unhealthy lifestyle, the Malaysian weather ought to be blamed. Then couple that with unhygienic food, I end up with a wonderful cocktail of diseases.

Trick (1999)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Just watched this movie few days ago. Although I personally find the movie having some scenes a bit weird, I like the story line and cute actors. Mark (JP Pitoc) is a Go-go boy and OMG is the word to describe him. Hot smokin body with a killer smile. I also like his ears, they look so monkey-ish. I have a thing for those type of ears, so cute!!! Then we have Gabriel (Christian Campbell) who looks so much like the younger Ryan Reynolds. Gorgeous eyes and abit of a nerdy look. And did I mention that I have a thing for nerdy looking guys as well.


There several scenes in the movie I like so much. The first was when Mark guided Gabriel's hand carressing his body. Then there was the part where they kiss of course. The ending feels really good unlike other typical gay movies where the main actors end with tradegy or full of sex scenes. Enough said... just watch it.

English Classes

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I am currently taking 2 English classes this semester. I really like language classes because the lecturers tend to make the classes more fun and interactive. The 2 young lecturers also tend to make mistakes when giving their lectures. It lightens the mood or atmosphere in the class. I also like their body language as they try to make the classes livelier. They are also very cute looking. I suspect though, that one of them may be gay because he asked everyone in the class if we would talk about gay marriage as the topic for the following week. That is so gay~ Not just because of the topic, but also his overall gestures that sends out vibes of G-ness. Oh~ I so totally like him!

Dream: Big Apple

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Not too sure if you guys are following my updates in facebook, but yesterday I had a funny dream while i was taking a nap in my hostel room. The dream was about me sleeping in my hostel room and I was awakened when my ex-roommate, Meng returned. He was holding a box of Big Apple doughnuts that he made! I don't really know what's the occasion but he asked if i would finish them (I assume he made them for his gf but they couldn't finish them). I wonder I am having some craving for doughnuts or I actually miss my ex-roommate LOL... Perhaps both but this semester will the last semester I will be in UPM. In fact, so far for the past week here I have met plenty of cute guys. Out of the 4 years here, this year is the most! Not just cute locals, but good looking middle eastern guys as well as twinky Thai boys. OMGosh! 

Just this morning, there was an adorable nerdy chinese 1st year who came up to me to ask for directions as well as recommendation on where to have meals.  He followed me around as I show him the way. He then asked me where I would go next. Too bad I wasn't feeling well or else I would have had brunch with him. Hehehe... The thing is, I was already eye-ing on him since we took the same bus.

UPM Health Center Room 7 Doctor

So this morning I went to the health center in UPM to get some meds as I have been having diarrhea for the past 3 days as well as a minor nasal and throat irritation that begun last night. I was kinda expecting to get the same doctor that doesn't bother with the checkup or take any body temperature. So I went to the assigned room 7. As usual, the young doc asked of my problem. Then, I was pleasantly surprised when the doctor asked me to lie down on the bed so he could check for any pain. He then took my body temperature despite I told him I don't have fever. Don't get me wrong, that's a good thing because he is doing his duty. I just wish the other doctors there would be a bit more like him. More professional you know? LOL...

This makes me recall a certain incident that happened to a colleague of mine who went to the UPM health center. She was having some abdominal pain and the doctor asked if she was pregnant. And since she wasn't pregnant, the doc concluded that she has infection without taking any urine samples or checking for the location of the pain. Ridiculous I tell you.

But anyway, thank you again to Mr Doc-I-Dont-Know-Your-Name from room 7 for being more responsible in your profession. Maybe UPM students may want to request for the same doctor if you ever need to go there.

Dragon Nest SEA

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Hi guys, forgive my absence. Lately I have indulging myself in online games. Not to the point of addiction though. Ever heard of Dragon Nest? It's a real time dungeon oriented RPG with 4 basic classes to choose (Archer, Sorceress, Cleric and Swordmen). As we progress in the game we get to specify in certain jobs depending on our play style. Currently the SEA version is still on OBT. The game is pretty exciting, but slowly becomes routine because the current level cap is just 24. It takes about 3 days to reach the max level, kinda fast and there are many skills to try out. However, the game lacks abit of exploration. There isn't much need to run around looking (such as solving puzzles or riddles) for things as most of the quest are easy and straight-forward. Items are easy to get and quite cheap as of now. Storage space is lacking and it's really problematic though. Overall the game is good and hopefully they can add more new contents quickly. 


To PLU out there playing the game and might wanna join a gay guild (our guild name, PLUpluS). PM or add me, my IGN is Halliwell in Westwood. 

For those who wanna try out the game, for more information and download at http://dn.cherrycredits.com/

Full of Crap

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Many people bullshit all the time. But some people gets all the attention they want coz they are good looking and popular among their peers. Whatever shit they post on their facebook always get commented. Bcoz of that, these people tend to update their facebook like~ every 2 to 3 hours. Ever encounter these type of people? 

Examples of things they say...
Gals fight, frens tmr..
Guys fight, dunno when cn end..
A leader is a good leader if he/she has good followers...
What the fking bullshit is this?!!! Tons of no-brainers will like their post and say they agree. Are you freaking kidding me?! Let's take the 2nd example, If Najib were given a group of good followers then he is a good leader? What kinda shit ass logic is this? But seriously, our government is actually kinda smart to deliberately educate students to be stupid. In the end it's easier to control a bunch of idiot.

Paranoid Mom

Monday, July 18, 2011

Friday evening before the rally...


Mom: Boy, where are you?
Bear: Why?
Mom: Just tell me where are you?
Bear: In uni...
Mom: Tomorrow don't go anywhere and don't wear yellow. Just stay at home.
Bear: Why?!
Mom: Tomorrow will have road block and is dangerous to be outside.
Bear: Nothing will happen lah~
Mom: No! Promise me you will stay at home. You don't know what will happen.
Bear: okay okay... =.="

Post-CLEAN Syndrome

Monday, July 11, 2011

Although I did not join the CLEAN march, I am a sideline supporter. Seeing them on Youtube, I am proud of those who actually did joined the rally. For the past few weeks, certain people in power has repeatedly pound on those who supports for transparency and cleanliness. It's almost repulsive to have to bare with the one-side news reporting being done by those media. Just this morning at the lab, some of the colleagues were watching the rally on the net. One commented  that the media is powerful as they only focused on captions of the minority of violent policemen. Also adding that how it was portrayed badly and scares away tourist. Then another commented that they were given a stadium but still insists on having Merdeka stadium. Highlighting that the CLEAN people are trying to stir things up and cause chaos.  Having heard their comment, they are obviously under some illusion cast by the governing party.

None of them seem to be bothered by the fact that the daughter of the 4th PM herself and our heroic sasterawan negara supports the walk for CLEAN. Perhaps they are oblivious since not much coverage has been done by the tainted local news. We desperately need a change.

All In a Day's Pleasure

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

This is piko-chan writing here. The online game is having a major patch and it's taking like... 11 hours to finish. I'm thinking what to do now. The office mailbox is opened but there isn't any tasks assigned I can do now. I've read all the news online and it's disappointing. This late evening, I'm done reading the last installment of Percy Jackson. It was exciting! And like all young heroes, they like to 'prove' themselves. "I need to kill Voldemort, it's destined", so said Harry Potter and this Percy has the same I-need-to-be-a-hero attitude. But overall, it was a good read.

Dear bought me a book, Twilight. The first installment of the werewolf-girl-vampire saga. Though I've already watched the movie, it's good to read them to know the details. It should keep me occupied for the new few days.

Let's talk about today. It was a cold and wet morning, which I missed it dearly. I wish it will be like that more often. I like it cold. Browsing Facebook postings, one of my friend who is a steward with Cathay Pacific airline, posted his travel pics. Especially Rome. I miss that place and lots of memory over there too. My first backpack for about 3 weeks. Just now, my dear and I were watching Heroes Season 4, a few more episodes to the last one. No matter how powerful one can get, one still need friends and the people around. Same goes to people who thinks the world revolve only to themselves. Just now I read a blogger about the post who was asked which blogger he hate most. I know my dear and I shared the blogger we dislike.

That's all for now, folks.

Updates

Saturday, June 25, 2011

HUH... finally done with lab experiments for my final year project. Next stage will be testing the so-called probionts on the live animals. At the moment, free! My lifestyle has change a little. I don't usually read the news. But due to influence from a particular person, I have been reading news daily. Good change I suppose. 

As for my social life, let's just say I don't really have one. Probably because not many people have the same interest as me. I DON'T like window shopping aka walking aimlessly, gatherings more than 4 people, watching movies on the first week of release, talking about girls, concerts, noisy places, smokey area, mamak with bad drinks AND far away.

Perhaps like dardar said, I am an old man trapped in a young body. I like my life simple and less hassle. Life is troublesome as it is, make it simple.

Blistering hands

Monday, June 20, 2011

Kinda starting to hate lab work. It's sucking the life out of me. And it's getting worse, my hands hurt, skin peeling off due to excessive exertion of force on tight caps. Those damn vials just wouldn't open! I wish I have rough manly skin. Dear say my skin is soft >.<"

Waking up in the month of May

Friday, May 27, 2011

People at the lab probably thinks I am lazy coz I am not at the lab the whole day. People kept asking me where I am just because they are late to the lab. I am there early. Finishes my work early and of coz I leave early. No point being at the lab when I have nothing else to do right?

On the side note, I know I have been away for a VERY long time. I just didnt have any motivation to continue blogging. Probably I have been spending more time in gaming, lab work as well as watching reality tv show, survivor. Currently watching season season 17, survivor: Gabon and I must say some of those guys are really cute.

Also, my birthday just passed a few days ago. This time around only a few people wished me since I have placed a fake birthdate on my facebook. Really thanks to those few who wished me. Really made my day. Mom brought my sis and I to Daorae, korean restaurant. their BBQ pork and chicken slices are really good. Thier hotpot was okay too, just wished that their prawns were bigger. Dardar on the other hand brought me to Umai-ya, japanese buffet. Food was good especially their unagi. with free flow of tiger beer I think it's very worth the price. Do check it out!

I think that is all from me this time. 

Cost Optimization Initiatives

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'm not sure how many people are sharing my sentiments but things are getting expensive these days. Prices for a lot of stuffs have gone up. And our salary is not on par with the purchasing power we ought to have. This morning, the news have been quite gloomy for the average people on the street. A report by a Swiss bank, indicated that our domestic purchasing power ranking is low, the food prices are going up and there's also another interesting article, with a chart on how much effort we need to pay off our purchases.

Like any company that runs the P&L, Bear and I are also conscious of our spending. With these economic situations, it's always better to spend wisely and have plans for cost optimization initiatives for our monthly budget.

For example, we often go movie outings on a Friday, when there's a 'buy 1 free 1' promotion by Citibank, sharing drinks when eating out. Buy the same food at locations with a lower price, ie hawker stalls, night market instead of bakeries, cafe, etc. Plan out the traveling routes to conserve petrol usage/toll payments, do bulk shopping and take advantage of promotional items. Eat cheaper meat such as chicken instead of pork/fish/beef (I read an article this morning that chicken price is going up, not sure what meat to eat anymore). Buy local fruits instead of imported ones with similar nutritional values. And there's a planned celebration or trip, it's good to plan ahead for the spending hike when it comes.

And the list goes on...

I've once read from a book, 'Poor Dad, Rich Dad', that the first step in financial independence is to eliminate as much debt as possible. With that in mind, I'm trying to be very prudent and giving it a lot of thoughts even when buying air-conditioners, smartphones, new cars etc, when it's always ends up with installments (means more debts).

The question I always ask is, how can we do more with less? When shopping, prioritize the things we need to buy and not the things we want to buy.

Perfect Score

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


For once in my uni life I scorred 100% for a test (live feed production). Awesome...

American Idol: Pia Toscano

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Disappointed? Shocked? Not really. Although I didn't imagine her leaving the American Idol so quickly. I thought she would be the last girl to leave the stage. However, she being eliminated is kinda like a now or later thing. She lacks emotions in her singing and she don't have much personality. Unlike the other contestants who are more bubbly or funny. And the thing is, I think American Idol needs someone that could bring something different. Someone who could bring some change to the music industry. Not another Celine Dion or Whitney Houston.

Predictions for top 3, James Durbin, Scotty McCreery and Paul Mcdonald. This is not based on their singing ability, but the way they really know how to connect with the audience.

Distractions

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Life is so full of distractions. TV programmes. Online Games. Facebook. I do notice the amount of time I spend doing these unnessary stuff. But are they really unnessary? Sure enough if we don't engage in them we won't die. There are tons of other stuff we can do to fill up our free time. If I enjoy doing them, that's good enough. But if I can enjoy doing them with loved ones, all the more better.

Another thing I learned (in lectures), recreation brings satisfaction and happiness. Satisfaction and happiness affects the mental and physical well being of a person. If you like what you are doing, do what you like.

Although having that said, I haven't really been spending much of my time with piko-chan. Feel abit bersalah. From time to time, I restrain myself from indulging in too much internet game. But those free time were spent reading blogs (yeah... I still read blogs just that I don't really comment nowadays). I wake up early everyday. Like 7.30 even on weekends? While dardar sleeps til like 11 or 12 =.="

Rest of the day just face computer or eat, shower, sleep. Really need some other activities. The only thing he does is jogging. That to me is ......boring. I prefer swimming, badminton or basketball. He also don't play board games. I may not be good but I like playing chess, chinese chess or something that needs a bit of thinking. My ps2 is collecting dust at his home too since he don't play with me T__T

I really need a change. Now is good, but i have a feeling it can be better.

Natural Behaviour

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Everytime when we argue, I need time. Time regain composure. Time to think of what had actually happen. As well as time to figure out the cause and reasons. I mentioned in my previous post that I like singing, sometimes over the top style with some dance. I also like to act silly or act cute and sometimes I would also imitate celebrities and game or anime characters. I notice that I don't always do it. I only do it in front of people that I like or people that are close to me. Mostly in front of pat and dardar. It became so natural to me that there are times I forgot that my intention was to entertain them, to make them laugh or smile.

Of course I enjoy doing it because it makes me happy. But at the same time, I hope that the people that I do it for also be happy with me. When they don't, it upsets me. Really, not all the time but occasionally. Dardar mentioned that sometimes he is afraid that I overwork myself. But as I said, it became so natural to me doing silly stuff that I forgot why I did it in the 1st place. But when dardar said that he loves seeing me being energetic and lively because it makes him happy too.

It was also the first time seeing him in tears. Like really in tears for awhile with the sobbing. hehe... so nice. Sometimes I wish he would be more in touch with that part of him. To cry out when he is feeling sad or unhappy. To smile and laugh out loud when in joy. He is so cancerian, always putting up that thick shell to mask his weakness and emotions.

First Ever Promoter

Monday, March 28, 2011

My 1st time being a promoter. Was at Solaris Mont Kiara Cold Storage. Easy work and kinda fun coz quite a few eye candy. Other than that, I am exhausted coz woke up at 6 this morning to go Cheng Ming then straight to work. Stand walk stand walk whole day... TIRED! SLEEP!

Phase of Uncertainty

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I recall a friend once said, "They do not understand because they do not go through what we do". They in this context are people that do not go through a phase in life where they doubt about their sexuality, in short, people that are homophobes. Not only PLU go through this phase, some straight people too.

From young remember how every single drama and movie I watch is always about guy kissing girl and happily ever after. I do find it sweet and romantic. I used to imagine myself marrying a women having lots of kids.

However, at the same time I am also attracted to guys. I remember staying up late to watch Survivor. I would sit in front of the screen admiring the good looks and body. As for the ladies, I could hardly remember their names. Even until now, I find it hard to memorize names of girls that I meet.

Sure enough later I find myself liking dicks guys more than girls when I was with my very 1st ex. But after we went separately, I find myself in a phase of uncertainty. Despite knowing that I like guys, I tried to go 'straight'. I tried really hard to make myself interested in a girl. Pretending that I want to know her. It was torturous. I question myself if I were gay, bi or a confused straight over and over again. 


I had no one to talk to. I wasn't participating in any blog or PLU support group. I was by myself, surrounded by homophobic people. Feeling that I am an outcast. Abnormal. Worse, I am new in uni with coursemates that are either racist or not-so-into-non-mandarin-speaking chinese.

Then came Jesus. I thought I could make it to the other side if I believed in him. At one point I really thought by accepting him I am saved. That I won't be thrown into the fiery pits of hell. The Christians offered me help on turning straight. Then came the doubt again. For all my life I had lived without HIM. Why would I trust my life in him?

That was the moment when I found PLU blogosphere. I read day and night. Knowing that I am not the only one going through all this puts me at ease. I used to think that being 'different' in Malaysia means you are as good as gone. The blogs shown me that there are many of us out there. Living all sorts of different lives whether they like it or not.

From the point I accepted being who I am, was also the end point of the phase of uncertainty. Being colourful is definitely special. Many dull 'normal' people won't like special people. It's hard being special as we are. But as I could recall, when I was a kid, I always wanted to be special. However, as I grow up, I just wanna be the same like others just so I can fit in. It shows how others can affect us, the way we think. 


I owe my freedom to those 'colourful' blogs.

The Nipple Song

Monday, March 21, 2011

I learned of this song (again) from my online games guild team members. Made me laugh like a mad man.

The Headache that Fired Up the Thoughts

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The headache since the early afternoon. The throbbing pain on the right side of the head, the stabbing pain on my right eye, the hard stressed muscle on the right side of my neck, the hardening pain on my right shoulder. I lie on bed next to my Bear reading The Lovely Bones. The house later went quiet. I stand by the window looking at the falling rain drops. I sat at the sofa, blinded by the cloudy sky. I continued reading but only words. I retreated myself to an empty room. No one ever goes in there except to do my ironing.

I sat crossed leg closed my eyes. Facing the window. The eerie silence of the room. Occasional sound of birds chirping, noise of neighbors dragging their chairs upstairs and cars passing by the idle room. I closed my eyes and not caring anything. Trying. I took a deep breath and reminded myself to regular breath deeply. The pain came and went. As I felt into stupor, the pain subsided.

Funny how sitting down alone, not caring anything in the world, allows all sort of thoughts running through the mind. Fear pierced through me. Why am I fearful. Why am I so conforming. Why am I excited with the attention. My mind was talking to myself with questions. Replies of I dunno.

Treat People with Civility and Respect

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

It's a common situation when your cell phone rings with an unidentified number asking you to purchase insurance, enroll for new credit cards, apply for low-interest loans or even a 'wrong number' call. Or, as you were having a meal, you might be approached by people seeking donations, sell products or etc. Or, you might be dealing with customer service, retail assistants or any other counter service of a company.


If I'm being approached for donations/products/services which I'm not interested in, I usually give them a smile and shake my head declining my interest, or maybe take a short peek at the brochure to see if i'm interest and then continued with a smile and reply with a no thank you. If they are persistent, I would have the same persistence to reply with a no thank you.

As I read in the media/experience so far, I just do not understand why some people may be reacting rudely to these scenario. Either they are being treated invisibly or being scolded or being cursed. No doubt our space/time is invaded but I believe these people are just doing their job. And let them do their job.


Talking about people who are doing their job, I once read an experience on how a resident was fumming mad because the guard didn't allow the resident to enter the condo and the resident didn't have the entry pass in hand. The guard was just doing his job not to allow non-resident pass holders to trepass the premise and residents also have the responsibility to their roles. What if a robber used the same tactics and the guard let him too?

It's funny how everyone wants things to suit their own convenience; and when things go wrong, people start blaming everyone else for not doing their job.

Back to treating people with civility, my Bear pointed it right when he said everyone is a hypocrite. When our client/boss responded us rudely over the phone or on the face, we bitched about till the cows come home. But as we ourselves, as a client, begins to decline in civility and started behaving rudely to others, we are of no difference.

It's again when we are always so self-absorbed or self-centered that all things in the whole world should/must revolve to fit ourselves. It's alright to purse what is right as a customer but do it in a civil manner.

Some of us claimed how great we are but ain't behaving as one. Have respect for other people if wants to be respected in return.

Ripple Effect

Monday, March 14, 2011

Some of you may have read the blog description below the title of my blog - "Every step leaves ripples for the earth keeps all records". I wrote that when I first started blogging. Whether it is grammatically correct or not I shall leave it as it is. But what I wanna tell is that no matter what we do, consciously or sub-consciously it always leave a ripple effect. In the ripple, your action is that center where it starts the ripple. It then expands and touches others. By others, I mean other people.

An example, my mother used to think that the 3R campaign is a waste or time. Only people without a life would be bothered about it. At that time I thought it was troublesome, the teachers wants every student to send in recyclable materials to the school. I started doing it and told my mom what to be kept. I will not lie, she was not keen about it at first because she thinks it's keeping rubbish. After about a year doing it at home, she got so excited about doing it because other parents are also involved and she don't want to lose out. Same goes for the usage of plastic bags.

As of late, I have been watching lots of YouTube videos. I somehow got caught up again with the way Americans speak. Their intonation and the way they express their feeling is what I view as interesting. And they make those cute little faces when they make their vlog. I try to incorporate that into my life cause I think it adds flavor to life. You may say that I am easily influenced by others but what the heck. Life is about changes. I love changes. Changes are fun.

The Tolerating Tolerance

Last few days ago, I bumped into a video of this Asian American guy who talks in a fast paced, ghetto style that talks about his life experience. With his diva, high-pitched and bitchy hand movement style, if was a good laugh to watch it. Soon, my Bear was eagerly wanted to watch it too. He enjoyed it and even found out that that American guy even has a video blog. It has now become one of his regular entertainment watching that video streaming.

I found it a good laugh alright, well..., on the first occasion of watching it. As my dear Bear find it amusing and good entertainment, it was becoming more of an irritation to me, that diva, ghetto, high pitch, non-stop ranting (i know, how much i emphasized this...) interspersed regularly with the F-word. I'm a firm believer of individual rights and so... I don't barge into the room and tell Bear that it is so annoying and to stop watching it. Nor, I'm stopping people or condeming them for doing things they like which I dislike. If my Bear finds it amuzing and have a good life for himself, I'm fine with that.

Now, how do I deal with myself when my mind is bubbling with annoyance when that guy's voice is vibrating in the house through that PC speaker? Actually there are a few things to do/have done to isolate myself. Use my handphone earphone to listen to Light&Easy radio channel or listen to the mp3 player (it's time I find my birthday present portable mp3 player from William/Cheryl to be useful), sit at the sofa in front of the tv watching the public channel with the equal volume or keep myself lying down on bed reading a book with the door closed.

At the end of the day, when my Bear shares his funny moments which he found entertaining in that guy's and his comrades video blogs, I'm still glad to know he had a good time.

That somehow summarized on the scenario when your spouse/lover doing something he/she likes, you dislike and going through with it.

Asexuals

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

It's weird how people can assume things to follow a certain pattern. What would you think if you discovered a bottle of lubricant or a packet of condoms in a persons belongings? What more when you know that guy has a boyfriend. Sex would be what most of us think of. Penetration to be precise. I find these people really cute. It's not wrong to make assumptions, but it may not always be what you pressumed. Not all gays are into anal sex. Some people enjoy masturbating with lubs and/or rubbers. It is a fact.

Ever heard of the term asexuals in the world of gay? I didn't really know about it until last December when dardar and I read about it from a brochure from PT Foundation. Apparently, people that are asexuals are people that do not have sex with others. They prefer playing themselves or doing some sexual activities together that does not involve penetration. I think I may be one lol... I wonder if dardar is too... hehehe!

The Generation Gap

Thursday, March 3, 2011

While having lunch with Pat, he asked me what is it like to be with someone who is alot older. Piko-chan is indeed a decade plus older than me, but I don't find us very much different. Or perhaps I don't really think about our differences. Our similar interest is what binds us. We both enjoy playing online games together. We enjoy cruising together. I like whites. He likes jap and chinese. But throughout our time together, I have developed some interest in the others too. I still dun like jap porn though. SUX big time! 

We both like to eat. I like to critic what I eat but piko-chan never talks much about the taste. He wallops almost anything. I LOVE mangoes. My eyes blings whenever I see mango. While piko-chan loves bananas. Heck! I bet most of my readers love 'bananas' too. HaHaHa...

He likes sleeping longer hours on weekends coz he don't need to work while I prefer waking up early to engage in games that stimulate the mind. He likes reading. I read 3 books from his shelves and I think it was one of the most extraodinary thing anyone can see me doing. Reading books is BORING!

Piko-chan is a person that search for info (wikipedia, etc.) about a movie before we watch it. I just watch anything that I feel is good enough from the poster or trailer. Piko-chan doesn't want to watch horror movies coz he is scaredy-cat. I watch horrors eventhough I am more afraid than him.

In the end, gap or not doesn't really matter. What matters to me is staying happy together. I do my part to paint a smile on him coz seeing him smile makes me smile.

Sekinchan Ikan Bakar, Puchong

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

There was a new shop in the neighbourhood, comparatively new, and every time we passed through that place, the shop is brimmed with people. On Valentine's Day, we spent the dinner there. Although it was just around 6.30pm, that place was almost half full. I didn't know people are craving a lot for grilled fish! We ordered a stingray fish, a mug of clamps clams, rice and drinks. There were notices that we need to be patient as it needs time to grill the fish and all. And I was already hungry! Finally the dishes came. I found it quite normal but Bear like the paste that comes with it.

With all the people coming in and hunting for tables, it wasn't a good place to talk about romantic stuffs. The approach is to eat, pay, leave and find another place for other things to carry on. I didn't check the receipt but Bear calculated that we only paid very little for the fish. From the price of per kg, and the amount charged on the fish, it looks like we ate less than 50g of fish meat. I wonder if the cash register is fixed by now.


I Love You

Monday, February 28, 2011

25th of February. Last friday at 8.25pm was the time I received a message from my mum. I was at Alamanda Putrajaya after watching Sanctum. I thought she was gonna ask me if I wanna go back home this weekend. Apparently not. It was an MMS written "I Love You". She had never said those words. Never wrote them. For a moment I was speechless. I never felt happier in my life. I had a feeling of belonging. An urge to go home and spend time with her. I know she is happy when I am home. Having me to talk to. I just wish I have the same courage to say those words to you. Mum, I Love You.

Sanctum

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Went watch it with piko-chan last night. I think it was awesome. Lets see... First off, I like the characters. Josh in the movie is so lengzai. huhuhu! Then the story, trapped in a deep cave with a storm hitting. We can see the different sides of human when they are faced with life and death situation. Making tough decisions. Survival skills. Ego and principles. Trust. An unspoken love of a father. 


On another note, my FYP presentation went well. Received some good comments. My supervisor was also satisfied with my performance. The night before I couldn't sleep at all. Rehearse few times before sleep. But keep dreaming of presentation stuff and waking up. Anyhow, still have to act energetic on that day. Damn relaxed after the presentation though. Yippie!!!  

Reconnecting

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Friends come and go. At least that was when I was still studying. There is one particular guy that first taught me how to play digimon on ps1. I would go over to his home and play together. Sometimes he would come to mine. We were about 11 years old back then. It all started with games only. Then, I slowly developed interest in him. I was curious to check out his weener back then. I would try to spy on him when he goes to the toilet. Didn't manage to see it, but I did manage to grab it once! That was when I won him in the digimon battle. hehehe... 

Last time before I go to bed, I would be thinking of him. Think of how nice the next day would be if I get to meet him again. At that time I really felt that he was lengzai. No other sexual thoughts though. I didn't even know what was frenching until form 3. But one thing is confirmed, I was interested in 'bananas' only even at that stage. 

I have forgotten that he was actually the first guy that I started showing signs of attraction towards the same gender until we recently reconnected each other on FB. Memories... Besides him, I have got 2 other friends on my FB list that I lost contact after we left primary school and only recently found each other. All thanks to FB ^__^

Singing Heart

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Totally inspired by tuls, the walking Ipod. I have always like to sing. Just that I didn't realize it til someone blogged about it. It all began humming when I was in primary school. Then started singing and memorizing lyrics thanks to Westlife (Shane is awesome cute!). I only sing to myself back then. Scared will kena critic. Then as I go secondary, life become music-less. Too caught up with all activities that I didn't give a shit about singing anymore. However, the melodies came back to me when Guang Liang was out with his song Tong Hua. This time, I sang to me sisters. They would also sing along and we would criticize each other. As time goes by, I began singing to dardar. We would sing together in the car, bathroom, elevator, staircase. But dardar will try to shut me up when I sing on the streets. He dun like too much attention >.<".

Beyonce, Mariah, Westlife, Guang Liang, Avril, Maroon 5 just to name a few of my fav. I like the older songs though. Somehow I am not really up-to-date with the songs. Just sing those that like.

Premonition

Saturday, February 19, 2011

I get some weird dreams sometimes. Those short flashes of certain scene that doesn't really make any sense. Puzzled, confused, I would normally forget about them. But those instances would resurface at moments I least expect. There will be a sense of familiarity. As if I was re-living the moment. Twice this morning. I think my powers are getting stronger.

Can you see the future? LOL!

 Phoebe from Charmed

I'm Back!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Yes, as a guest author of this blog. Since I do not have much time maintain one of my own, I'm using it here to express my opinions, eating out, trips and things like that. Hopefully I'm able to write some thing nice here. Thanks for all the support to Bear and hope with my contribution here, there will be more supports coming in. Have a nice Wednesday and days ahead for the week.

By the way, remember to read out the author label below. Since there's no other visual distinction to differentiate author, the posted by will tell you who wrote what.

My Current Stand

Friday, February 11, 2011

In response to a comment by anonymous, "well, it juz like, she might want u to get married and have a bunch of grandson/daughter for her...from ur blog i think u d only boy isnt it? so isnt juz u should carry ur family name to ur next generation...well, that's my opinion..sorry, no offence"

No offense taken.

My mum told me that she wants to travel around the world and not be my kids babysitter. Not that I do not want kids. I don't mind having adopted kids. Plus, when Hins Cheung came out, my mum still adored him and said that whoever he loves is his personal business. 

As for my family name, I don't think I have any obligations towards it. I am not into all the traditional stuff like passing on my name or whatever.

Honestly, if u are in pain because u are doing something unwillingly (such as studying medicine when your interest is fashion) do u not think that ur mom would feel the pain too. I think most parents just want to see their kids happy. My mom used to say that I should be a doctor or lawyer like most chinese parents would want. I said no because I have no interest at all. Rather than walking down a road unwillingly, I always believe that we should try to talk things out. I also believe in flexibility and freedom of choice as long as no harm onto others are done.

Top 5 Red Packet

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

This year I have picked out 5 of my favourite red packet design from those that I have received. I don't normally care about the designs because all I want is the $$ in it. LOL... 


From the left we have Jusco AEON, followed by Standard Chartered, Yakult, Yeo's and Juice Works. The Best overall design goes to Jusco. The rosy red background, cute rabbit and gold writing wins. The quality of the paper also doesn't look cheapo. 2nd placing goes to the simple yet classy Standard Chartered. The picture taken spoils it but in real looks better. The other 3 are just to fill up the other placings coz top 5 sounds better than top 2... hahaha... Oh, but the Juice Works red packet has a 20% discount voucher on their tumbler products. Worth checking it out if you're planning to get 1. 

One of the red packet above contains money. Wanna guess which one? No prizes though... LOL...

My Favourite Dog

Monday, February 7, 2011


I like golden retriever but they get a little too big. I am totally terrified of big dogs T__T

The best is still mini schnauzer. They are extremely adorable. They are so moustachie that they look grandpa-ish. They look so fun to play with. But I can almost never get one. My attention span towards pets wouldn't even last 2 weeks. LOL

What Do Y'all Think?

Sunday, February 6, 2011

I know it's Chinese New Year. It's all jolly nice and happy. Everyone is thinking of fun and food but mostly the latter I supposed. Yesterday, my friends came over to my home to "bai nian". A certain friend of mine did not make it and hence my mum ask why he wasn't here. Apparently, his father got cancer. Here is the situation, would you guys still visit him at his home or just leave them alone? Some of my friends think that we shouldn't be disturbing them. But in my opinion I think he needs our support. I tried calling him but he didn't answer the phone. I don't know if he was trying to avoid my calls but I really wish that he and his family are able stay positive.

And Happy New Year to all. May all that is reading this will have good health and a happy new year. 

Hypocrite

Sunday, January 30, 2011

I have said it many times. I am a hypocrite and so are you. It's the ugly truth but not many of us realize it. Few days ago, I played a prank on one of my coursemate. She was unhappy with it. One of her friend came to me and said I was evil. The fact is, they have did the same to me last time. What I did wasn't revenge. But perhaps a reminder that we are indeed similar beings.

The next issue is "Mengumpat". It's a malay word that means talk bad about someone else. I almost always talk to Pat in cantonese. Malay colleagues around me would say "mengumpat saya ke?" which means are u talking bad about me? They would go on to say that it is "berdosa" or sinful to talk bad about others. Honestly, whenever we speak in cantonese they assume that we talk bad about them. But if they had never done wrong, why would they worry of others were talking bad about them? I am sure some of you have got certain languages that u are more comfortable to speak as they remain the faster media to convey/receive the message. I have never had any suspicions about them when they spoke in their Kelantan/Terengganu village slang. How fair is that?

Then again, I had a coursemate that told me what they did was wrong too. She too is a muslim and she told me it is also bad to "buruk sangka" which means to have negative suspicions about others. Whatever it is, I know we are all hypocrites. The END~

UPM Version

Thursday, January 27, 2011


Cute guys appear almost everyday in campus. There are 2 in particular that are worth mentioning. Edison Chen look-alike and Yoga Lin look-alike. However, the UPM version of Yoga is darker-skinned and he is a Malay =.="

Biting More Than I Can Chew

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

She said that I will manage it. My supervisor I mean. But seriously, there is so much i do not know about the title given. As some of you might know, I study mainly about fish and perhaps some prawns. Microbs are perhaps the last thing I would want to study. But guess what... my supervisor's field of study is microbiology. Arggghhhh... my final year project will be on probiotics for a certain marine fish. And the fish isn't cheap. It's such a headache. I am totally clueless about bacteria culture. Don't even know how to prepare the culture medium. What more about bacterial challenge and what-so-ever. So much reading to do. So much work to handle. So much more to learn...

Then again there are master students there to guide us. They should be very useful since they are from biotech bacground. Hopefully...

New Year's Resolution

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What is with this new year's resolution? I didn't even know that such thing existed until somewhere last year. It was through blogging that I discovered people actually have new year's resolution (NYR). And so, what is my very first NYR? Let's see... I have thought hard about ( for about 2 minutes)... My NYR would be to have none at all. I don't really have a specific target that I wanna achieve. All this while, I just wanna be an extraordinary person living a simple and happy life. Weird? Deal with it.


Let's see here, piko-chan said last year his NYR was to achieve six-pack abs that I could scrub my laundry with. But in the end, he ended up working out less than his usual routine =.="

Other bloggers that I am lazy to name don't feel like naming have a long list of NYR. I totally blame my lack of 'desire to plan' on the chapter of disadvantages of planning that I read last year for my finals. I am not joking, that small tiny chapter exist in the notes and was one of the questions that was asked in the finals. Conclusion is I don't have NYR ^__^

The Cycle Begins Again

Monday, January 10, 2011

Am I a celebrity or what? People come up to me and ask me about my results and before I could answer them, they assumed that I got 4.0 again. It's like history is repeating itself. However, some things have changed. First week of the sem and I have no reports or what-so-ever to do. Cool huh! (YES, it is cool coz I always have assignments and reports on the first week of lecture). In fact, many of my lecturers aren't even in uni now. The best thing is, they are my fav lecturers! No sweat this sem. YAY! 


Then, I bumped into one of my sarawakian friend. He is getting cuter btw. urm urm... I get so excited everytime I bump into him. *giggles*.

The library took a change too, I can no longer play any facebook applications. It is definitely a good thing. The library is so empty now, I can use the comps here whole day. The weather on the other hand has been kind. It's cloudy today and it makes me feel lazy. So lazy I could just doze off. The only thing that keeps me awake would probably be the cute guys that are occasionally appearing out of no where.

Last but not least, chinese new year is around the corner. Spring cleaning and shopping season is here again. ugh... The yearly chore is back. I don't feel lke going home. So troublesome...

First Post of 2011

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011 is here. A new year and a new sem is starting for me. I will be starting my final year project soon. So troublesome but it has to be done.

New years and Christmas celebration has been peaceful for me. I don't like the crowd anyway. A simple and satisfying dinner with piko-chan.

Oh, I did an experiment that started 1month ago. I changed my burst date to 31st of December on facebook. Funny thing is, people that celebrated my burstday with me in 2009 also wished me. My burstday is on the lovely month of May. Nearly a hundred wished me and only 6 person knew it wasn't my burstday. I am totally not shocked by the number because I wanted to see how many people would actually wish me twice a year. It was also to test how many people fully rely on facebook to keep track of things. For me, I personally prefer my handphone to register burstdays. Maybe I am outdated but I think my handphone is much trustier. I know a few of my friends also register fake birthdays for their own reasons.