J: The Romantic Bastard

Thursday, December 23, 2010

 I have been missing for a few days. Reason is that I had trip to Ipoh for the very first time. All thanks to request from J. We were there to act as extras for a local tv series, Rantau Harimau. The setting was taken in a waterfall area in Tapah. The place is pretty cool, flowing river, hot spring and lots of butterflies to watch. If lucky there may even be fireflies at night. I didn't get the chance to explore Ipoh cause I wasn't there for a vacation. But the nice part of the whole acting thing is that I got to meet lots of different people. Some were 1st timers like me, some were seasoned actors, soldiers as well as some part timers. They also look gorgeous! Imagine hunky Malay soldiers walking topless in the scenes and cute chinese Ipoh twinks all over the sets. hohoho... 
 That aside, I was actually quite frustrated with J. Not because he gave all his attention to pleasing his gf but because of the constant teasing. I was being made the teasing subject almost all the time and I don't like it. I admit I am a little short temper and I blame it on not just myself, but also the exhaustion, insect bites and lack of sleep. And when I am pissed off, it totally shows on my face. I never understood why I always try to help this bastard whenever he asks for help. It was when he showed his concern, I realized that he wasn't just any other friend that I have. He is more. I never wanted to admit it but he is my best friend along with pat, WH and a few others. 

They are the people that I can talk to about anything. They won't give me the weird stare or too much info thingy. The whole trip made me realized that I still have a life with my buddies. One of the funniest thing was when he said our friendship until was based on his persistence. True, he never gave up on it. When he told me he remembers how he consistently asked my name and I just ignored him, if he gave up then we would never have been friends till now. It made me chuckle. I teared. I didn't know he would recall. He apologized and asked why I was unhappy.
 When he said he didn't want to lose his best friend just because he wanted to make others laugh, I lost my words. Things he said that night was what I longed to hear. For me to confirm that I wasn't just a tool or nobody in his life. Damn it, I had the biggest cheek shower this year that night. I know a female best friend of a queer would be a fag hag but what about guys that are best friends of a gay dude? Dardar pointed out that it's abnormal to have ex to be best friends, is it?

Slippery Anniversary + Yen Shabu Shabu

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Shoe size 43. What a slippery experience. My first time ice-skating. OMG. I fell a few times. So damn embarrassing. Dardar legs were hurting so he didn't skate. Took me about 20minutes to get rid of the fear of falling. Quite similar to swimming, just need to eliminate the fear of drowning and voila! I managed to skate slowly without support rounding and rounding the ring (so proud of myself LOL)! I have been to Sunway Pyramid a few times and I always notice cuties or lengzai skating there. The thing is, they are not just there for looks. They can really skate. They glide here and there, so pro... a couple times they just chill in front of me XD... So wasted, there was once I fell and got one cute guy wanna help me get up but I was too shy so I got up on my own. Haiz... should have taken the opportunity. hehehe... anniversary

Then we had our dinner @ Yen Shabu Shabu in Menjalara. Their pork slice and mutton slice were really good. They have free flow of drinks(my fav iced lemon tea) and not so common ice-cream selection (tiramisu, durian, grape). Their sauce are good too, especially the chicken rice chili sauce, tomyam sauce and sweet sour chili sauce. On mondays to thursdays they have special dish called Sha-Tien gai. A must try if you are there on any of those days. Their pumpkin puff side dish is also worth trying!

Unfading Love

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I was with J a couple of days ago and he hit me with a question. He asked me if my love for dardar was fading away. What he meant was that if our love have turned into a norm. Something that we do daily and no longer have the passion and infatuation we first started. The odd thing is, it took me some time to actually fall in love with him. Yes, it was not love at first sight. We were together and I wasn't in love with him from the start. Through the ups and down of our time together, I developed feelings for him. It struck me that I am in love with him when things went downhill and he suggested that we breakup. I guess there are times when I do take things for granted. That night I cried for quite some time. Hundreds of questions ran through my mind. It was only then I started to question if my feelings were real. I recall the things I have wanted to do with him but it all seems too late. From that moment on, I knew that my love for him is real. I am in love with him and I love him. And to answer J, I love him more and more everyday. I remember that I once told dardar, love is like a seed. We don't just plant it, we need to feed it with water and nutrients. It grows from care and commitment. Blossoming into a year old, it is only now that I truly understand what I once told him.

Home Alone

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I am sooo bored. The Atlantica server is down for maintenance and honestly, that's the only thing I have been doing at home for as long as I can recall. Occasionally I workout when I feel motivated. Well, usually after admiring hunky dudes like this one~


Or this one~


Then when I get real horny is time for some p0rn artsy movie and some activity that I think many guys are familiar with. lol... So, what do you do home alone on a holiday?

Why Do We Come Out?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The thing with coming out whether to friends or family, is to me a very important stage in a gay men life. I am quite sure many of us always think about having a life where we need not hide. Some say that our sexuality should be kept only to ourselves. Why do we want to tell others about it? There are always reasons to it. First, lets talk about coming out to friends. For me, I came out to my friends because I wanted people to know who I really was. There is this loneliness that lurks within me because I felt that I was different. Not being able to tell others made it worse. I feared that if I were to let anyone know I would get beaten up. The society would make me an outcast. I was also afraid that if the secrets burst out, my friends would leave me. Then again, I was already lonely in the beginning. Just imagine, have you guys been in a situation where your friends tell you that they know you better than yourself, they didn't know you were gay and they trash talk about gay stuff like they understand us? There is always a trigger that prompts us to do what we do. With all the worries I have, why do I still want to out myself? Simple, I just wanted to feel good about who I really am. Think about it, many people always try to do things to make themselves more special. They want to be someone different from others. For people like us, we are already different. We are already special but many of us just wished that we would be same like the others so that we can fit in the society like how others wants us to be. Note this, as human, we want things that we do not have. 



Then comes family, these are the people that we care most. Personally, I find coming out to family is a lot harder. Some might beg to differ? I am quite sure some of you have heard of stories like how a guy came out to his parents and his parents called the police, brought him to a psychiatrist, cut his allowances and so on. Why do I still come out? For me, my family are the ones that I am closest to, the ones that will be with me in times of need. We give support to one another. Home is where I feel most comfortable. A safe haven where I can be who I am in my most craziest form without putting on my mask of fake-ness. Some say that mothers know about their son. True for me, sometimes she just couldn't accept it because of any factor such as upbringing, education, traditional mindset and so on but one thing is for sure, she still loves me and care for me. Same goes with my sis, we may argue, quarrel, hit each other, but when it comes to family, we still care for one another. My sister always knew I am different. We would watch television together and comment on the cute guys. LOL! It is just so much fun to be plu having sisters that understands us. hehehe...

Hairy Potter

Thursday, December 2, 2010


I am not a fan of Hairy Potter. Really. I don't read the books, but I like the whole idea of magic and weird creatures in the movie. I have been watching all the episodes but this is the first time I went to watch it on the big screen. Thanks to dardar of course lol. Honestly, I like the first movie best, the sorcerer's stone. But the ones later are just mediocre. Half blood prince was the worst for me. Totally boring since I don't understand a thing they say. Total failure for that one. But the latest installment was surprisingly better in the sense that I was not bored by it. I also liked the part where they describe the deathly hollows using those animation. By ranking, the latest movie would be 3rd in my list after sorcerer's stone and chamber of secrets. The movie was quite good except I prefer Potter to be fully clothed. He is just so Hairy Potter you know? As for reading the books, I will wait till the last episode of the movie.

Note: I HATE people that reads the book and talks how bad the movie is because they cut it short but they still watch every episode of the movie on the first day screening.

Sepet

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Malaysian made movie by Yasmin Ahmad. A love story of a Malay girl and a Chinese boy. 1 word could describe it, Good! I think everyone should watch it if they can. This movie was released few years ago though. You guys will probably have to download it somewhere. This movie is one of the few local movies that I actually like. The actor, Ng Choo Seong (Jason) and actress, Sharifah Amani (Orked) are so adorable. When I say they are cute they are REALLY cute! The sepet-ness of Jason just kills me. I would never put myself in his shoes though *crossed fingers*. I still love my roasted pork and char siew. The movie also depicts the real attitude of many Malaysian as well as issues that has been ongoing for years in our country. Quite bold I would say. Aside from that, the little mistakes that was not filtered out made this movie more realistic. Don't you feel weird when every sentence is perfectly uttered?


An Unforgettable Night

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I still remember the night I was at a friends house. It was at the dining table. 4 guys chatting away. Games. Siblings. Books. Topics that are of common interest. Things were going fine until one of them started talking about homosexuals. I was kinda speechless when they suddenly talk about it. They talked about how they hated gays. They even said that if they were ever to know if any of their friends are gay they would never befriend them any longer. I was still in the closet at that time. I wanted to just say out loud that I am gay. But I was scared. Afraid that I would end up alone. Sitting there hearing them trash talk of how gays play ass. Saying how they were disgusted. Saying how the gays always dress up with exp clothes because they are rich. Those were my friends. I was devastated by what they had said. That night, it propelled me to take a step out of the closet. I started reading more blogs. Talk to more people. Slowly opening to friends. I realized that if they couldn't accept me then it's too bad. Having that said, I have them to thank for because if it was not for them I might still be in the pitiful closet.

You Again Movie Review

Thursday, November 18, 2010

 Adorable James Wolk & Odette Yustman

The movie depicts how school life is for some of us. It also tells of how the experiences makes us to be who we are today. Everyone goes true different stuff in their life. Some being the bullies and some being the ones that always get picked on. Some always shine in the spotlight while others just being the background. You know how some people always tend to be the ones in the middle of the picture. The famous one that everyone wants to stand with. I am never that person. Always being by the side of pictures is me. But things took a change when I entered uni. People notice me. As much as I dislike my coursemates, they aren't that bad. I reevaluated my friends from high school and sad to say, I find some of them too fake. Some of them say they care about me when they actually never even get to know me. Some old friends suddenly turned cold for whatever reason they have.

 Sean Wing is so CUTE!!!

In the movie, Kristen Bell had a shock of her life when she discovers that her arch nemesis was going to marry his brother, James Wolk. Dwelling in her miserable past, she did everything possible to prevent Odette Yustman (The Bully) from marrying her brother. But of course in the end she forgives her for what was already in the past. This is what I like about the movie, it tells us that no matter what wrong doings a person might have did to us in the past we should always give them a second chance. People can change. Carrying a bag of hatred can be really tiring. Taking revenge might backfire and makes things worse. 

Jamie Lee Curtis & Sigourney Weaver (also rivals in the movie)

If you are looking for some movie to just laugh it all out, this is a good one. The 2 guys are really cute too. Hehehe...

Horny Old Dog

Sunday, November 14, 2010

You know how we always get friend request in facebook. With the amount of gay people on our friend list they somehow get to us and wants to add us on FB. There was one particular old man that I add back when I just joined FB. He first appear to be nice and friendly. Talking to me as if he was parenting me. I played along. When he said he could be a nice daddy to me I just replied with a smile. I honestly thought he was just being nice. Up until few days ago we chatted again. As usual the greetings and concerns. Then we touched on the topic of sex and anal. He kept telling me that I have to try anal. As if trying to force it onto me. Somehow I think he wants to fuck me. I had it with him and told him I wanna go shower. With nerves of steel, the horny dog asked if I could show him my dick. Mind me, he is a married man in his middle age with kids.  And he even knows that I already have a bf. Repulsive. Without hesitation I deleted him from FB and blocked him msn.

Connecting Heart

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I know of how ugly my temperaments can get. I am not always sunny, coz even the weather have to rain sometimes. Distractions keep me from being logically at times. Too many things going on makes me forget about taking care of your feelings. And they say to err is human. Last night was another heart to heart talk. I know we grow to know each other better. It's true when I say that I look at you before going to bed every night because I want to remind myself how fortunate I have been to have you by my side. I am well aware that you always try your best to fulfill my wishes. Demanding I can be but you always try to be there for me whenever you can. I realize when I say that I am much of a attention seeker. I can't sit still. That is just part of me. Always trying to do something weird or out of place even if when we are busy with our work. For me, it is just a way to relieve stress. And I know that you know.

A to Z of Bear

Friday, November 5, 2010

Tagged from Ichimaru~

INSTRUCTIONS: Fill out these questions and make a new note called "ABC About You." Then tag 25 people. If you got tagged by me, you have to take this survey and re-post it! Don’t forget to tag me because I want to know more about you!
A - AVAILABLE: No
B - BIRTHDAY: 23rd of May
C- CRUSHING ON: Alex and a vet student in UPM
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: H2O
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Dardar
F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Save You - Simple Plan
H - HOMETOWN: KL
I - IN LOVE WITH: Myself & Salmon
J - JUGGLE: Exams, assignment & reports
K - KILLED SOMEONE: NO
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: KL to Penang
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Mango
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2
O - ONE WISH: Filthy RICH
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: dardar
R- REASON TO SMILE: Anytime anywhere
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 7.30 am
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: All but not white...
V - VEGETABLE: I am close to vegetarian
W - WORST HABIT: Nose picking
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: 2 yrs ago for UPM
Y - YOYOS ARE: Cool~
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Gemini

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
Your favorite number/s: 23
What color do you wear most: Red, Orange, White
Least favorite color: Grey
What are you listening to: Spinning fan...
Are you happy with your life right now: Why not???
What is your favorite class in school: None
Who is/are your best friend/s: Pat and Dardar
Are you outgoing: I am ongoing
 Favorite pair of shoes: New balance
Can you dance?: Dardar say can
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: Whats's a cherry stem?
Can you whistle: accidentally tried once, on normal days NO
Cross your eyes: HUH???
Walk with your toes curled: Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
Do you believe in life in other planets: yes
Do you believe in miracles: yes
Do you believe in magic: you mean illusions?
Love at first sight: Nope
Do you believe in Santa: hahaha... never =.="
Do you know how to swim: Yes
Do you like roller coasters: Yes
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows: I will puke
Have you ever been on a plane: yup
Have you ever asked someone out: Yes
Have you ever been to the ocean: Yes
Have you ever painted your nails?: Urgh... so girly

THE WHAT'S
What is the temperature outside?: 31 degree Celsius
What radio station do you listen to: My FM
What was the last restaurant you ate at: Do you count mamak as a restaurant?
What was the last thing you bought: dinner bak kut teh and Tom Yam
What was the last thing on TV you watched: News

THE WHO'S
Who was the last person you IM'd: dardar
Who was the last person you took a picture of: Chicks
Who was the last person you said I love you to: I said I lub you to Dardar

CRYING SECTION
Ever really cried your heart out: My heart is still in
Ever cried yourself to sleep: yup
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder: yup
Ever cried over the opposite sex: My mum?
Do you cry when you get an injury: Duh
Do certain songs make you cry: Yes... Love of Siam theme song

HAPPY SECTION
Are you a happy person?: most of the time

LOOK AT ME
What is your current hair color: Brown

CURRENTLY WEARING
What shirt are you wearing: I am shirtless fondling my nipples
Pants: You guys wear pants at home?
Shoes: None
Necklaces: None

IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: Hazel
Short or long hair: Army style
Height: No dwarves please!

HAVE YOU EVER
Been to jail: No
Mooned someone: No
Thought about suicide: yeah
Laughed so hard you cried: yes
Cried in school: when I got upset of J
Thrown up in a store: No
Wanted to be a model: YES
Seen a dead body:Yes
Been on drugs: only medications
Gone skinny dipping: T__T never

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: McD
Single or Group Dates: Single
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries
Meat or Veggies: Veggies
TV or Movie: Movie
Guitar or Drums: guitar
Adidas or Nike: Nike sux! Adidas sux too but Nike sux even more...
Chinese or Mexican: Chinese 
_____________________________________________________________________
Who did u tag: To whoever interested

Unexpected

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My finals started yesterday. It was okay I guess. After the paper, Pat and I went for a movie at The Mines TGV. Pathetic! The cinema only had 4 movies on that day. Out of the 4 movies, 2 were local production. Since Pat had watched Sammy the Turtle, we opted for The Other Guys. Nice movie. Made me laughed the whole time. Wanna know more? Watch it yourself... Pat and I had a little talk too. Apparently, he didn't expect 'us' to last until now. He thought we would have broke off in half a year time. I asked why and he replied that I am someone that would get bored at something real quick. I guess there are many things that don't always follow our expectations. I also didn't expect the movie to be so funny. hehehe...

Year End Trip

Friday, October 29, 2010


Dardar and I have been talking about traveling. First choice, Bangkok. I so wanna go meet Witwisit and Mario there. They are so cute! Christmas over there will be so fun. The other options are Bali and Hong Kong. These choices are within my affordability but they will squeeze dry my savings and PTPTN. I think dardar got headache ady cos I keep saying that it's expensive. LOL! Dardar suggested Singapore that have no interest at all. To me, Singapore is just a bigger, cleaner and more eye candy version of Kuala Lumpur. How how how??? I have never been out of Malaysia before.

School Boy or Ah Beng?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Picture taken at Miko Steamboat Buffet 1 day after the haircut... I think the black singlet is so motivational for me to workout XD 

Short Clean Simple

Monday, October 25, 2010




Just got my haircut last morning. Schoolboy look. I think I look cute now (you guys can throw up). But how I wish to get the haircut like above. Or was I wishing to get a guy like the above XD

German boys... Simply adorable...

Never Forever-Lasting

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Few weeks back there was a radio DJ that commented about how people think about marriage. Last time people would only think that their marriage is an eternal bond that binds the couple until they meet their grave. This may be true for many asians I supposed. He then added on that nowadays when people get married, they think of how long they will last. This really made me think why did the Terengganu government is offering free honeymoon to couples that are on the brink of divorce. There have been numeral reports that divorce rate in Malaysia is on the rise. So, do you feel the hypocrisy when straights point out that homos are discouraged because of their flamboyant nature? Then again, why are there cases of father raping their own daughter or grandchild? The LGBT has always been portrayed negatively. They just don't realize the damage they have brought upon the youngsters. 

On the other hand, I really wonder if gay couples could really live a life without penetration. I personally have never experienced anal even after being in 2 relationship. Cuddling, kissing, foreplay, mutual jerk off and some occasional oral is all that is enough for me. Anyone out there same like me?

Spare Me Tyre

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Last week, I had to skip japanese lesson coz the tyre finally gave in. My first experience changing tyre with dardar. I wanted to help but dardar won't let me touch coz he say it's dirty. awww... Very lucky that we had shelter and not under the hot afternoon blaze. I was also lucky enough to get to see the whole process. Definitely less panicky if it ever happens to me.

When two become one

Monday, October 18, 2010

Have you guys ever seen 2 bananas in 1 peel? I took this picture from the UPM convo bazaar. It's not a production of photoshop. People comes in pairs. Some animals too. We were taught in school that a couple should consist of male and female. But I guess this picture somehow proves that 2 gays bananas can really be together. But then again, I wonder if I might see 3 happily together.

UPM Convo Bazaar

Friday, October 15, 2010

Both of them shopping together while I was on duty at the stall. I suspect they are one of us. Anyway, Rockmelons are more attractive compared to their cousin, Honeydew. Met a very rude lady that scolded my coursemates. She totally went overboard by saying that they are stupid, useless people standing in front of the stall preventing customers from shopping peacefully. Yeah... she yelled like it was no ones business. I think she could have say it in a nicer way.

Ultraman

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Could this be Ultraman Jino in his human form? Or perhaps he is just Ultraman Dardar =P

Furball

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Nono sleeping like an infant. So cute... hehehe... These days he is quite responsive. He loves sunflower seed a lot. Can easily trick him to stand on both legs using it as bait. He then falls on his back. I know I am so bad right. hehehe... Some of you may already know this. The hamster doesn't belong to me. So fun to play with this furball.

More About Me: Fetish

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I have this habit of picking my nose. I used to think it is gross and should never be done in public. But not so long ago I discover a new fetish of mine. To pick nose regardless it is mine or not! LOL! When dardar go to bed. I disturb him by picking his nose. When he sleeps too much I will also do the same. wakakaka! Next is when I see people picking their nose during a traffic congestion, I will do the same while looking at them until they notice me. Definitely a good tease when I saw this malay lady laughed after seeing me pick my nose coz she was doing the same thing. The final one was EPIC! My classmate wanted to make me cheat in the exam and presented the pinky swear. I pretended I was gonna do it but put my pinky into my nose instead and she felt gross. The whole idea of cheating was never brought up again. LOL!

Shark Tale

Monday, October 4, 2010

I have never felt more dreaded than this Monday morning. Reluctantly I went for the usual genetics lecture. I swear I could have fall asleep if the room temperature was any colder. I could barely understand anything the prof was talking about. My brains just wanna shutdown and enter sleep mode. The clock striked 12, everyone leapt with joy. By the time i woke up from my induced zombie state, half of the class has already left. About 10 of them were still around as they need to resit some failed paper. Pat and I then walked out of the lecture room and found ourselves in a pretty scary situation.

Some coursemates were chatting with Prof Shark.

Prof Shark: Who is Bear?
silence...
Prof Shark: You know who is Bernard Bear? (asking Pat)
Pat:... (pointing at me)

Shit! What does the shark wanna do with me.  Some shit is bound to happen!

Bear: yea, anything?
Prof Shark: So you are Bear. You are the top scorer?

WTF! How the heck did he know. I did not cheat in exam!

Bear: err... is there any problem? (still don't know what is his intention)
Prof Shark: Tak de (no problem). Keep it up.
Bear: okay...

Pat suspects that the coursemates might have leaked some info to him that leads him to me. Gosh! He is one of the lecturers that I would wanna avoid at all cost. He is not named Prof Shark for nothing. Anyway, I got away unscathed. Bound to meet him again during the FYP presentation. I smell trouble!

Crush

Saturday, October 2, 2010

I feel miserable at times. Not because dardar bully me. Not because I have to do reports or assignments or farmwork. Can you imagine how does it feel to bump into this cute guy almost everyday when you are in uni. I don't mean Mario Maurer but a guy that you are attracted to. Someone that exudes a certain aura that makes you feel like you are having a teenage crush. He has those cute puppy eyes that instantly melts your heart. He is so adorable that you wanna look at him as much as you can before he leaves the bus. Yeah... I met him countless times on the bus. Everytime I get to see him, I tense up. I shy away behind the bus seats trying to minimize the chances that he would notice me looking at him.  Each time, there will be his 'fans' calling out his name "Alex, Alex, Alex...". Somehow these people always pop out of nowhere yelling his name out loud. I guess he is really popular. He doesn't carry anything most of the time. Perhaps he has his 'fans' to carry them. Sigh... I always remind myself that I already have a bf that cares about me. Someone that will be there for me whenever I need him. But it is really difficult to resist temptations when UPM have many cuties as well as hot hunky guys with perfectly sculpted 6 pack abs running around college area. 

Think Not Ting

Friday, October 1, 2010

Lui Yan striked a conversation with me before Japanese lesson.

Lui Yan: Come on... the next quiz okay?(signalling me to 'help' her out with the next evaluation)
Bear: err... I think you should revise more often. Then, there is no need for my assistance.
Lui Yan: Wah... You think and you don't ting.
Bear: huh?
Lui Yan: You THINK and you don't TING!
Bear: So?
Lui Yan: Normally malaysians pronounce think as ting. But you don't!
Bear: hmm... I thought most people around here wouldn't notice.
Lui Yan: I do!

It somehow surprised me when she pointed out my pronunciation. Honestly, no disrespect to you guys out there but I have encountered many people with great vocab and writing style but when it comes to speaking they really suck. I don't mean pronouncing bombastic words but simple words such as 'dick', 'tree', 'three', 'eight' or 'birthday'. Seldom do people realize that they have been eating many alphabets such as -k at the back or th- in front of a word.

More About Me: Study

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My average score for most test don't fall below 85%. My coursemates assume that I am very hardworking. Just yesterday, my lecturer decided to make me the class role-model. What they don't realize is that I am just as lazy as them. I play Atlantica Online during my free hours. I watch TV at dardar's house. I read Facebook most of the time. I spend time talking to dardar about many things. I am just an average Joe enjoying life in a way I think is enjoyable.

So, how/when do I study?

1) I do last minute revision. I think alot people do the same. Dardar can be my eye witness. I am LAZY.
2) I know my limit/ability. I estimate the minimum amount of time I need to revise the subject to maintain the pointer. I normally take 1 night or 2 to cover 1 subject.
3) If you know the subject have alot of memorizing to do, write short simple notes. I only do this when the handouts are too long and filled with repitition or infos that I think is useless in exams. 
4) Always attend lectures. Pay attention to the tips/hints given by the lecturer. They may say things like "Students normally can't answer when I ask them...", "This is very important", "I may include this in the test".
5) Know the format/ style of the lecturer. If they say they will ask essay type questions, focus more on topics that have comparisons, processes as well as factors that are 5 and more. I would normally avoid definitions if is essay type. If is objective questions I would just read the notes many times and try to memorize those with 3 or 4 factors. 
6) Borrow reference books when you don't understand. Most of the time I only read lecture notes but there are times when I borrow books to get a better understanding on certain topics. This is normally becoz the handouts given don't have good explanations.
7) Study/ practice everyday if you are learning a new language. I am taking Japanese and I study whenever I am not around dardar. In between classes or during lunch break. Then around dardar, I try to speak Japanese with whatever vocab I can recall.
8) Open your mouth! Ask questions when you don't understand. By doing so, you not only get your answers but the lecturer also knows that you are interested in his lecture. They get to know you and remembers your name. They might even get friendly and provide you with their handphone number. This will go a long way if you are expected to be in his/her class for several semesters.
9) Don't be shy, ask for exam tips and guides from lecturers. They MAY or MAY NOT give but at least I will know if he/she does.  

Lastly, study style differs for everyone. The way I study is applicable because I am just taking Bachelor of Aquaculture. Not medicine, pharmacy or engineering.

Weekend Unlike Other

Monday, September 27, 2010

I went back home last weekend. Words to describe it would be bored, eat-all-you-can, workout. Bored coz there is no TV and internet at home. Eat-all-you-can is when my mum cooks lunch with ABC soup, barley wintermelon and jelly. Mum also asked me to eat mooncakes, grapes and plums. Our fridge also have ice-cream, yakults and chocolate. Ever since my sister has been away to uni, the fridge has more food ^__^
Then there is workout, one of the only time that I will workout is when I am totally disconnected from internet. Oppsss... Not forgetting to mention the lots of 'candies' in the morning Kepong market as well as the lengzai living just across the street. Do you know how satisfying it is to wake up on a Sunday morning greeted by a lengzai neighbour that is washing his car topless! The greeting part never happened...

Don't Bitch With Me

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It's Mid Autumn Festival. I don't know is it becoz I am so used to being with dardar. I miss him. It's not even a day since we parted. Procrastinating my work again. I just don't feel like being the top of the pack any longer. The fire no longer exist. I used to be very competitive. But nowadays receiving the marks I just smile and keep the paper in my bag. Not that I am doing bad in my exams nor am I giving any excuses. Uni life is getting boring. Except for the occasional eye candies. Coursemates are nothing but coursemates. We would not get along. Why? They are all bitch. Just pisses me off from time to time. And I am not playing mr nice guy any more. They always take advantage of Pat. I despise them. Yeah... I am quite protective of my friends.

Are You Gay?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I was in class chatting away with Pat as usual. The lecturer teaching genetics arrived in the class and after sometime before the lesson starts, she striked a conversation.

Lect: You wear only 1 earring. You gay ke?
Bear: (stunned... after 2 months only she noticed) err...
Lect: You know, a guy that likes guys.
Bear: ...
Lect: If not then you think it's fashionable?
Bear: Yeah, cantik ma... (means it's beatiful)
Lect: Oh, lelaki pun mau cantik... (means guys also wanna look attractive)

I guess there are people that thinks you are gay as long as you have an earring regardless of which side. Right side is no longer the gay ear. As long as you have a single ear piercing you are auto-labelled as GAY! LMAO!





Christmas Comes Early

Saturday, September 18, 2010



That night the moon was bright. The fireflies decorated the area surrounding us. As if the place was filled with Christmas trees. Both of us sitting side by side. Our pinky crossing each other. Just romantic.

Spotting a Lala Look

Friday, September 17, 2010

Went shopping with dardar...


price tag still on... LOL... I am not for sale though =P

I Like to Act Cute

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


This morning, when I woke up, I had the urge to write this post. It's true to the title. I like to act cute. Why? Sometimes it comes naturally. When my imagination runs wild, I can do actions that catches people's attention. I don't mind the attention. Whether they think I am cute, crazy or dumb. I DON'T care. Sometimes I act cute or silly to make dardar happy. And sometimes I do it to make my friends laugh. I want people around me to be happy. Why the serious face all the time? I just don't get it. Anyhow, I was kinda surprised when I read what Jerry a.k.a Beyond wrote. Seriously, awesome timing! 


I make face. I make anime voices. I dance. I pose. Most importantly, I smile!

Shangri-La Hotel Lunch Buffet @ Wedding

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My coursemate think I look like korean. WTF!

Wedding lunch buffet of my cousin sister was held at the Shangri-la hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Food was amazing. They have many corners to choose from. Whether indian, chinese, japanese or western. They also have dimsum, pastries, cakes(tiramisu, strawberry cheese, chocolate, etc.), crepe, brownies, mousse, chocolate fountain with our choice of marshmellow and fruits. They also have an assortment of cheese! Be it brie, gorgonzola, gouda and many that I have never heard of. Choice of soup includes the sharkfin soup and seafood soup(chunks of shrimps, scallops and fish). Their smoked items were really good, I tried the salmon, duck and some other fish. The most awesome part was their prawns! They totally own it! The prawns were XXL size! If you guys go Yuen Steamboat buffet, just imagine the prawn to be at least 3 times the size of it. Grilled mutton was really good too... Too bad I had no pictures to show. Left my handphone at dardar's home. But did managed to camwhore with sis. Heard from my mum the buffet was RM120 per pax. 


When we arrived at the hotel, I was not amazed by the interior design. Why? My eye was busy kapzai. LOL! There was this tanned chinese guy that caught my attention from the minute I walked into the lobby. I was thinking, "Shit! hopefully he goes to the same wedding buffet as we are..." Seconds later, mum was talking to his mother! She then asked me to go over and greet the old lady. Then mum said "This is your kindergarten classmate". I was like WTF! Where have you been to all this years?!!! Throughout the whole day I kept stealing glances at him whenever I went to take food. I am not all too sad either. I saw him looking at me too most of the time when I try to look at him. If you wonder how he looks like, see the picture just above. That's not him, just someone that resembles alot like him. 


I think my aunt is really modern. She doesn't follow the old traditions for a chinese wedding. Simple and satisfying.



~dardar say the blue shirt looks nice~

Random Joke

Sunday, September 12, 2010

What is happiness without piness(penis)? Just hap, you won't be happy...

Out of Closet to Aunt Jennifer

Saturday, September 11, 2010


Last night there was this family gathering where most of my aunts gathered. As usual, all the greetings went on. Aunt Jennifer came up to me and gave me a thorough check. She was looking from head to toe. LOL. She noticed that I had an ear piercing. So observant of her. She then pulled me aside for interrogation.




A Jennifer: That is on the right ear!
Bear: Ugh... yeah...
A Jennifer: You didn't know it is the gay ear?
Bear: err... I know ah...
A Jennifer: OMG... means you are?
Bear: erm... erm... yea~
A Jennifer: Woah! (she was very surprised and excited at the same time) Are you lying?
Bear: No~
A Jennifer: Your mum know?
Bear: Kinda know lor... I told her before but she told me to stop thinking about it and concentrate on study.
A Jennifer: yeah... ur mum can't accept it. 
Bear: yea I know.
A Jennifer: OMG... Is this for real... OK... I am very excited bcoz I have 2 best friends that are also one of you... You got a bf?
Bear: err... yeah... almost 1 year ady...
A Jennifer: hmm... okay... I respect ur decision. I like you more and more from every meet up. But should be careful not to let ur BITCHY aunt know. (another of my aunt)
Bear: I thought no one here would notice.
A Jennifer: Just be careful. She knows alot of people and she knows many stuff. If she knows, she will be sure to spread it to everyone saying how ur mum don't know how to teach her son.
Bear: Err... okay...
A Jennifer: We can be friends now... hehehe... Add me on FB. May be we can meet up with my besties. They study in UCSI and UTAR.
Bear: ok gua...

Muhhh!Nay!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

PTPTN do have some efficiency although they are cumbersome to deal with. Within 2 weeks I got my first sum of money. After deducting the uni fees I have 2k left to spend. Mostly on food I suppose. But I really ought to spend more wisely. I have been gaining weight ever since being with Dardar >.<" Ever since we started, our frequency of buffet tolled at once a month! Never in my life have I eaten so many buffet so consistently. Dardar even said 2k is alot to spend if it's just on food. I don't think so though. 2k for half a year I would still need to work part time to fill up the money I spend for the holidays.The money does help, but it is not enough.

KTM Candy

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


This is another guy that I bump into during the KTM ride from Serdang to MV. Gosh... he is so looking at me... Somehow the guy either notice that I am trying to take his pic or he is into me. LOL! But he looks better in person than in the picture... kehehehe...

Bosco, Fussy Food Choice

Monday, September 6, 2010

Bosco DOESN'T like colour enhancing pellets that I gave him. He was ok with them in the beginning. But when I changed him to a larger tank he somehow no longer wants to eat the pellets I gave. He would nibble nibble the floating pellet then leave it alone. Worse is he would swallow it and then vomit it out. Zzz... The thing is, I don't understand why Bosco doesn't eat the pellets coz my friend Patrick also bought one Betta and the same feed but his fish is eating. I was a little worried cos I bought the pellet for RM8! dammit! so waste lor... plus it was a very small 35g bottle only. At the same time I also bought some artificial powdered feed for one of my projects in uni. My team managed to breed some Molly fish and require some tiny feed in powdered form. So I tried feeding the same powdered feed to Bosco and luckily he likes them. I also bought some frozen bloodworms but have yet to feed him those. The frozen bloodworm only cost RM2! Really cheap and recommended.




~Animals living under pikey's roof are picky eaters~

Bosco, My Siamese Fighting Fish

Friday, September 3, 2010

The past week, I had a field trip to Aquatic International. After scouting for the aquatic plants that was need for the experiment, everyone went berserk looking for the fish that they wanna buy. It has been sometime since I last have a pet of my own. But being in college and going to salmon's place and going back home doesn't make keeping a pet any easier. But salmon has an interest in keeping fish. Just that he doesn't know how. LOL. So I thought a Betta would fit perfectly. They are air breathers. No need aeration. Nice to look at. Initially I wanted to get a halfmoon breed but it costs RM7! For the price I opted the longtail breed which is ony RM1 after discount. Dardar asked me what is his name. It never came to my mind to give him a name but I just blurted Bosco. kyahaha! I think it's a cute name. Same like Nicky gor's favourite Hong Kong artist =P




~Don't release alien species into the local environment~

Kuala Terengganu: Turtle Extinction Plan

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Several nights were spent in Kuala Terengganu after Redang and before heading back for KL. The host was kind enough to show us around the town. He brought us to the quite famous Crystal Mosque. Then we had a beach walk at night near the KT hospital. Other places are not worth mentioning. But we did savour the local delicacies they had to offer such as nasi dagang, mi sup and keropok lekor. The host even prepared BBQ on one of the nights. He practically invited the whole kampung. I was stunned seeing the amount of people pouring into his double-storey house. That night we watched the world cup while munching on the satay, hot-dogs and fried noodle.


While the host was busy with his work, he dropped us at the town. We manage to get our asses to several locations such as the chinese street, Masjid Raja Putih and the market. We took our time doing some souvenir shopping at the market place. I was actually fascinated by the varieties of never-before-seen stuff such as turtle eggs! My first time seeing one. I am not happy about it though. Talk about wildlife conservation and protection. The locals at Terengganu told me that there are not much turtles that return to lay eggs anymore. The reason is clear... they harvest the eggs and sell them. The Malay girls that traveled with me actually thought of buying them. I was like WTF! As for shopping there, I advise that any non-malays should have malay friends traveling with them to get good discounts. I would have enjoyed the trip more if it was not for the sunburn. Skin was peeling off from all over my face to my shoulder! Ouch! 




~Conservation efforts in Malaysia sucks to the core~

PTPTN = Bitch?

Monday, August 23, 2010

It's a bitch coz it is sooo freakin troublesome. From filling in online application and printing them out to photocopy all necessary documents. Then I would need to get it back home for mum to sign. Then find my academic advisor to sign the stuff. RM20 stamps from the post office and past semester results. Then comes the letter from BHEP to confirm that I am still a student or UPM. Back and forth I go. A lot of the time was actually spent on walking and taking bus. Although, I did meet several cute guys in the whole process. hehehe... one of them is Alex. I wish I could snap a picture of him. He has those puppy eyes that is oh sooo cute >.<

Oppsss... :p





~Bear hates troublesome stuff~

Pulau Redang: Malaysian Paradise

Friday, August 20, 2010

I spent the night before in a not so traditional Malay kampung. The host were really generous, we had a taste of the few durian kampung before we head out. Heavenly! To top that off, the malay siblings are really cute! I like it when guys are topless walking around the house. kekeke...

The sky was clear on the day we departed for one of the most beautiful island beach that Malaysia had to offer. Her name was Redang.The boat ride was one to remember. I sat at the head of the boat. I feel the ocean breeze. The late morning ray beaming on my skin. Nature at its best. Sitting right there on the front most made me feel as if I am the captain of the boat. Just like Luffy in One Piece.

Approximately 45 minutes later, we arrived at the beach with crystal clear water. I really couldn't believe my eyes at that moment. It was just breathtaking. For my entire life I have only seen such scenery in documentations or pictures. The waters were clear blue-green with the sand on the beach seemed bleached to white perfection. It was no 5 star accommodation. Only small little chalets with a tinge of melayu-ness. It was quiet. No hunky beach boys. No speedo-man sun tanning on the beach. No annoying kids releasing their load of youth on the beach. Just peaceful, serene and almost deserted. Good for those that wants a break from the constant noise pollution that the city offers. 

 Days here was spent snorkeling and sleeping. I love to sleep on those comfy bed. This was also my first time snorkeling. I do know how to swim but the sight of the really deep sea actually did sent chills down me spines. I was hoping to see some sharks but at the same time I don't wanna be in the water with them. LOL! I don't wanna lose any part of my body =.="

Having that said, I still entered the water. Lots of beautiful fish. All attracted by the bread crumbs that divers threw into the water. When there was no more bread, the fish started nibbling on my feet and arms. I became fish food! The ocean floor was filled with tons of sea cucumber and corals. But the corals are sad to say DEAD.  Spot no sea turtle. No a sight of any sharks. Sigh. Kinda disappointed. 

Snorkeling on its own is really different from swimming. A lot more easier I would say. 1 thing though, I don't understand why people only swim 10 metres around the boat for 2 freakin hours. What is there to see in that same spot?!




 
~Where are the sea turtles?~

Bear Speaks Japanese

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Bear was really excited when the deputy dean told bear that he was allowed to take japanese for his elective subjects. There were many misunderstanding that happened between the ex-deputy dean and the students from bear's course. The ex-deputy dean informed us that we may only take subjects that are printed on the guideline even for our free electives. That was a total bullshit! In the guideline was written a couple 'suggestions' quoted by the current deputy dean that includes only Mandarin, Arab or advance english courses. For chinese students aren't allowed to take Mandarin, they can only choose between the english or arab. Doesn't make sense right? It was written as free electives and why is it that we must only pick from that few options. Bear was really pissed when he found out about the falsely given info from the deputy dean coz during orientation week we were told that we may choose any subject of our liking as long as we fulfill the 6 credit hours requirements. 

Putting that aside, bear am now proudly 3 weeks old in japanese study. Memorizing Hiragana was a pain in the butt. Now bear have to memorize Katakana that have the same sounds but different writings! It's agonizing to have to study a new language and at the same time having 4 labs a week with 2 projects going on. Anyhow, the japanese lecturers were really helpful. Bear wished that he could be under Farah sensei though. She gives more exercises for writing purposes. Eriko sensei that bear is currently under is a busy women. But she's from Japan! Cool huh! Good thing about her is she also teaches us about japanese culture. She is quite a cartoon character. Why? She always wear her clothes in sets of colours. Meaning, she wears either all red or all green from glasses to shoes and even her earrings! Any how, next week is test 1, have to add oil!




~ がんばってください ~

The Footprints of Brave Bear: 1 year old

Thursday, August 5, 2010

It has been a year since I have started blogging here in blogspot. Things have changed alot then when I first started blogging. I caught myself a salmon through this blog. Met plenty of other bloggers that are all unique in their very own way. Even had an encounter with a reader non-blogger that turn out as an 'experiment'. I first started blogging with support from several friends of mine which I am unsure if they are still following my blog or not. But I still have to thank JY, WH and LL for their encouragements and comments. To all readers, followers, and supporters thank you too for being here, regardless you are a silent follower or loud ones that likes to comment.

As for my lack of updates, there has been many things happening in my life that I find myself too tired to update the blog. You may call me lazy or whatever but I will still find the time to keep this blog alive, so bare with me awhile. Several posts are delayed for now due to many photos still not in my hands yet. Again, I sincerely thank you for joining me in my walk of life. As a token of appreciation~




P.S: This post was set to be posted on July 31 but somehow it didn't show up. Blogspot is to blame...


~ ありがとう ~

My Fault, Your Fault, Our Fault

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Last night bear was searching for Atlantica. He asked for some assistance from a salmon to help persuade a witch to join bear's party. Salmon gladly lent a hand. He did all that he could to ensure that the bear gets to meet the witch. But salmon did not realize that the witch only likes stronger and more powerful bear. He brought the witch to meet bear. For bear already has a full group of members he had to choose to eliminate one of his allies. The master scouter was voted off. The witch then told bear that she does not like inexperienced master. With that, bear lost his scouter that he persuaded with gold to join and time to train the formation. Bear was unhappy with salmon. He blamed salmon for his lack of knowledge. Moments later bear realize that it was not entirely salmon's fault. Bear himself was too excited to hear the demands of the witch earlier. Salmon apologized but bear just wanted to be left alone.

I guess most humans tend to find fault in others first before reflecting on their own actions. I too am human. I too have blamed others for my misfortunes. That very night, I knew salmon was going to bed. At that moment, I have already realize that it was partly my fault. I wanted to kiss goodnight with salmon and say sorry. But I hessitated. Part of me was still too fired up with the incident. Salmon noticed that I was still awake at 2am. He came to check on me. After a heart to heart to talk, we went to bed with me still feeling useless for not being able to utter those words, "I am sorry".





~Sorry can sometimes be the hardest words to say~

Atlantica Online: The Dawn of a New Hero

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Last night bear was playing MapleStory as usual hunting for the golden eggs dropped by golden pigs. Mind you, bear finished up his reports before playing the online game yea... It suddenly struck bear that both bear and salmon has been playing their own online game separately for 6 months plus. Bear have always wanted to play an online game with a partner. Someone that bear could always travel and complete missions with. It seems more fun that way. In the beginning bear thought of luring salmon into playing MapleStory but it didn't work. Bear wanted to try out too the game that got salmon so addicted. Hence he ask salmon to create a new account for em'. From there onwards, starts a new adventure for Bear.




~Virtual or reality, what matters is enjoying the moments together~ 

HIV in Malaysia

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) as we all know is something that no human would ever wish to be infected with. Few days ago I was reading The Star newspaper in the library when an article about AIDS stuff suddenly appear on the bottom of the page. It was reported that most of the new cases were drug abusers which makes up 57%. This is then followed up by 30 percent from heterosexual relationships. It also reported that women infected with AIDS is on the rise from 9.5% in 2000 to 20% in 2008. Muslims on their own contributing 70% of the reports. After that I did some online search only to end up having no information or what-so-ever about the percentage contributed by the LGBT in Malaysia. But some sources have reported that the main cause of the spread recently is due the the lack of knowledge and education. This reflects on how "effective" our education system here in Malaysia. About half a year ago, I was stunned when I watched some gay themed movies seeing some people holding banners and cardboard saying that HIV/AIDS is GOD's punishment on the LGBTs. Now I can only laugh at it coz it's funny when the punishment is now dealt upon heterosexuals. LOL! I have nothing against 'straight' people here. Just sharing some info here.





~Careful where you insert that dicky~