Returning To Uni Life

Today is the second day of the start of the new semester. Exausted I am. No handouts. No soft copy allowed. We were back to old school note taking with our pens and paper. WTF! All morning I was jotting down notes! With the flu bugging me, all I want is good night rest after all of todays task are over. My course registration went well as the lecturers were kind enough to fit the rest of us in. It has been raining all evening and night here. Gosh! Real happy that I told my mum to get me an umbrella. I knew it would be handy.

A few series of incident proved me right as I have suspected SOME of the Malay drivers in UPM are racist! They discriminate those not of the same skin colour!

1st incident:
when a Malays waits for the bus at the stops, the drivers would gladly open BOTH doors for them to come up or go down. While for non-muslims, they would be reluctant to open the front exit and ask them to take the back exit.

2nd incident:
A few Malay girls were walking down the hill and the bus driver gladly waited for them although they were walking damn slow. Me and 2 of my other chinese coursemates were running down for the bus and we got honked many times. There was once the driver didn't even wait for us as we waved at them while rushing down the hill.

3rd incident:
This afternoon as I got up the bus I told the Malay driver, "Encik, naik ke makmal ya" He didn't get what I said and I repeated the word makmal 3 TIMES and finally he asked me, "Lab ah?" I was like WTF! Don't understand Malay ah? Makmal = Lab ??? And the driver thought I was the only person to go the lab that noon and since I am non-muslim he decided to make the lab the last stop. After going all the stops except the lab, he asked the Malay girls "You semua juga pergi Lab? I ingat you semua nak ke pejabat Dekan." Do you see it? WTF is this? I was silent the entire time I was in the bus because I knew what he was trying to do. The lab could have been the 1st stop because we would pass by the turning to the lab 1st before the others! I hope he would be 'blessed' by his god for all of his doings.

4th incident:
When non-muslims forgot to take their matric card they are not allowed to ride the bus and it is PERIOD! But when Muslims without the card got up the bus they would one eye open one eye close.

5th incident:
I was walking back to college and a bus passed by but did not stop to asked if I wanted a lift. A couple of Malay girls were walking back to college but the Malay bus driver decided to stop and ask if they needed a lift and when they denied the request the bus driver insisted and persuaded them to got up the bus.

There you go. All readers can be the judge. As I have mentioned in the early of the post, this statement is refering to certain Malay bus drivers in UPM and not all of them. I have encounter a couple of them that are very friendly and nice. But truth be told, there are still those out there that see us by our ethnicity. Different treatment is given depending on our skin colour. What a wonderful country we have here... Malaysia Boleh! :p

~I am not a chinese, I am human, call me Malaysian~

Closer Than Ever

For Dear P

Gio came over to my house 2 days ago as he wanted help with his present. He did most of the stuff while i helped a little. I saw the roses that he made and they were so pretty. For days I have thought what to get my dear. In the end I thought this isn't a bad idea. I asked Gio to teach me how to make 1. After completing the 1st one, he had to go home and I was left alone in the living room trying to make one on my own. Had a real tough time figuring out how to establish the center fold.

With the Streamyx down, I was left there trying on my own. Gave up... Just couldn't remember how it was done. Hours later, was able to connect to the web and quickly I searched for the video on youtube. There were a few methods to make them but there was only 1 that resembles the way Gio taught me. And so, I sat in front of the com with the papers with me. The 1st rose that I made turned out to be a real mess.

After dinner, chat with dear awhile cos didn't want him to worry. Then had to offline to continue making them rose. At some point I was really tired. But I knew that I had to complete it before I meet him the next day. The 5th one turned out the best that I have seen so far. Thus, it was completed at about 3am. The excitement of seeing him on the next day kept me awake for quite some time despite I was laying on the bed trying to sleep.

The next morning, we met at the KTM Subang Jaya. Seeing his expression upon receiving it was priceless. I knew the effort was something that cannot be bought.

We spent the evening in his house. Side by side, we held each other on the bed. His smile ever so real. His gentle caresses left me wanting more. Our lips met and for the longest time I have ever yearned for. Sleeping beside him that evening was a long awaited moment. I have never felt any closer to him than that period of time.

Standing on the balcony we watched how the rain shifted from one area to another. We then moved to the bottom and in the after rain we sat on a bench. The chilly wind was just right that night.

After dinner, we set course for Kepong. As we reached Manjalara, I could no longer retain the my emotions. Warm liquid rolled down my cheek. I was overwhelmed by the sugary moments we had. Having this man in my life made it so much more colourful. What a silly moment. I knew soon we have to separate as the car got closer to the destination.

~Tears of joy~

Just To Be With You

This song has been in my blog for some time now if you guys noticed. One of my favourites sang by David Archuleta. I am not obsessed with David ok! Just that he has really good songs that somehow suits my feelings and thoughts :p

I’ve been alone so many nights, now
And I’ve been waiting for the stars to fall
I keep holding out for what I don’t know
To be with you
Just to be with you

So here I am, staring at the moon tonight
Wondering how you look in this light
Maybe you’re somewhere thinking about me too
To be with you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

And I can’t imagine two worlds spinning apart,
Come together eventually

And when we finally meet I’ll know it’s right
I’ll be at the end of my restless road
But this journey, it was worth the fight
To Be With You, just to be

Holding you for the very first time,
Never letting go (Never letting go)
What I wouldn’t give to feel that way

Whoooooooooo ooooh
Oh, to be with you

And I can’t imagine two worlds spinning apart
Come together eventually

And when you’re standing here in front of me
That’s when I know that God does exist
‘Cause he will have answered every single prayer
To Be With You
Just to be with you, yeah
Youuuuuuuuuuu...

~I wish to be with you~

Butterfly Encounter 2

Joining a team comprised of 4 person. We were required to gather specimens of insects and flowers. Bug catching was fun! My weapon of choice, the almighty plastic bags. Through observation of their flying pattern, I noticed that once they sense threat, they would fly up higher and higher in a kinda zig-zag pattern swaying to the left and right.

My cheap weapon works perfectly fine on those taking a break on a flower. We just need to get close enough without startling them. Then place the bag directly above them and voila~ They instantly fly into the bag.

On preserving the specimens, the admiration I had for butterflies no longer exist. I had killed the bugs selfishly just so I could get my marks. Seeing them pinned down and lifeless, had no meaning to me. It's as if seeing a rose plant with the flowers all cut off. I am sorry dear butterflies.

~Forgive me for the massacre~

Butterfly Encounter 1

It was one evening that permitted me to go out to play. I was in my kiddy days back then. Having fun has been a norm to me when the evening sets in. I stood on the porch. Setting my eyes on the dancing butterflies. Everyday, a couple of them would visit the variety of flowers at my home. They seem to have a liking for the little purple flowers. Occasionally they would take a look on the red and yellow ones too.

They were so pretty. I have always wanted to have lots and lots of butterflies floating around me while some would rest on my hands. But that evening, there was one particular butterfly that was resting on a flower. I slowly draw my steps. It didn't notice me I guess. Slowly and carefully I i placed my hands nearer... Yes!!! I clipped the wings with my fingers. Then I placed in on my palm thinking that it will walk on my hands. Before I knew it, it flew away leaving tiny particles on my fingers.

~Play with me pretty please~

Where are we now???

It all began on 1st of Dec when I accepted his add on messenger. Almost everyday we would chat on messenger. We even exchanged numbers so that keeping in touch would be easier. This 'someone' has been mentioned before in my previous post. Lets refer to him as P. Everyday I would wake up hoping to see him online. From our conversation, he gave me an impression that he is smart, friendly and cute. Day after day, I begin to miss him whenever I don't see him online. I would wonder what he was doing at moments when I don't see him online.

Every night, I would hug my bolster and imagine P being the bolster and hug him to sleep. How nice if could do that. Yesterday, we met up at the Kepong Jusco. I waited at the vege section(I know it's a little odd meeting place, LOL). There he stood in front of me in his blue T. The nervousness build up quick on me. It's one thing to chat online, but it's totally different face to face. But, P was good enough to kept the talk flowing although there were awkward silent moments. Hmm... I guess I really need to apply what I have learnt from my English lessons in uni. I failed terribly in keeping the conversation lively.

Dinner together at Food & Tea outlet. 1st time going there lor. The portion of the food is a little small but the drinks were okay. I wanted the mango Tong Sui there but apparently it's not available at the moment =( I ate slowly cos P have a little difficulty to eat at the moment. But turns out I ate too slow. He waited for me to finish =.=" Then we continued a short walk in Jusco and headed for The Fruity Stall in Kepong. It was raining that night and so he got the umbrella. While crossing the street, we held hands. Urm, easier to cross together mah! LOL! There at the stall, he knew practically what I wanted and he ordered for me >.<

After our food there, he sent me back to my home. While sitting beside him in his car, I couldn't stop smilling. hmm... but I really wished that the night wouldn't end. Time flew so fast. So many things running in my mind that giving directions to my home was a bit clumsy. With his car pulled up in front of the house, I glanced every direction seeing if there was any of the neighbours out there. None in sight! Phew! I hesitated at first. Not knowing if I should go for it. But, I didn't wanna lose the opportunity. There we were, in the car, our very 1st kiss. I didn't really felt the braces though. It's as if they weren't even there >.<

~Again please~

Birthday and Presents

Yups! Here are the presents. 13th of December was the birthday of my sis, Bernice and my roomie, Meng. Meng organized a birthday party at his home that night and I had my dinner there lor. I had a near vegetarian diet there lor. LOL! The only meat I ate was those tiny pieces in the fried vermicelli. And I took a mostly the mushrooms, broccoli, and tofu. I had tons of watermelon =) SWEET! Right after the party, Lee, Ben, Chean and I went For L4D 2. Fun! The graphics was better and there are more weapons and more zombies too! Cool!

Octopus bank for Meng!

Blackforest cake from Kimki.

A pig wrist support for my sis!

Bernice posing!

~Happy Birthday~

My New Haircut and something more...

Judging time! LOL! Due to the requests of several people. Here, enjoy!

:p the last 2 pic specially for you guys ;)

Cleaner Than Ever

The new maid came yesterday at about 8.30 in the morning. Her cleaning was superb! I must admit that I don't make a really good maid LOL. The kakak cleaned the whole house, all except for my room cos I volunteered to clean my own room. So there I was, early in the morning I vacuumed my room took out all the unwanted stuff(books, magazines, clothes) hmm... My room looks tidier now =)

With the terrible Streamyx connection, I was all to lazy to do anything online. So sleep was what I did. LOL! Occasionally I would online just to see if that 'someone' is online or not. At about 6.30 in the evening I head for the saloon. My long messy curling hair was begging for a makeover. Short! OMG! I didnt notice that she cut so much of my front hair ~.~ I was hoping for the sides to be short with my front still fairly long just like the below...

Junsu!!!!! Ain't he HAWT?!

I wanna have his style! This guy is Kim Junsu or also know as Xiah from the Korean group DBSK. He dances very well and I love his voice as well as his appearance :p He can be cute, sexy and hot!!! OMG! Just amazing!

~Sleepy... Nite nite~

Shop til Almost Drop

Went shopping for presents today. Went to Hoong's house at about 10.25 and we headed for the Kepong KTM station. My my... am I surprised. Soooooo MANY lengzai leh! WTF! As usual, there are more gals than guys at the station. But the guys there today was yum yum. I saw 2 particularly that caught my eye. 1 of them was wearing school uniform. Another one in formal. While the last guy was in T and jeans. But sad to say, lengzais that I meet are normally shorter than me ~.~ I too tall??? Don't think so lorh~ I only 173cm wor...

Anyways... After countless hours and walks and reentering the same shops... I finally got 2 presents! LOL! 1 for my roomie and another for my sis. Hoong with 7 presents if I am not mistaken. gulp... That is so many ~.~

What are the presents you may ask... well... Can't reveal yet :p
Wait till 13th Dec yea. kekeke!

After all the hunt, we had our lunch at Kenny Rogers. hmm.... I ordered the Cheesy chicken combo =) The spaghetti that came with it was terrible. My mum could cook better spaghetti. While the roasted chicken that came with it was okay =) A little expensive though... The 2 of us totaled up the bill at RM56. WTF!!! Hoong and I agreed it's a little over our budget. We wont be seeing Kenny for a looooong time :p

Back at Kepong, I waited the bus for nearly an HOUR! It would easily piss off most ppl i think... But happy to say I am most patient with it =) It's a merry merry month anyways... So cheers to everyone and may everyday be happy for each of my dear readers =)

~Shopping is tough job~

Getting Serious

I have decide to take things one step ahead. I will bear with the discomfort that comes with it. I decided that he should not hide under that comfort and it's time to be a man. Lets take it to the fabric!!! He should feel it. Yes, I understand the chances that he may stand up and give me a hell of a time but its now or never. And yeah, he has stood up several times and hit me hard, so hard I thought "shit! Have I taken it too far??? Will it leave a scar?!" I can't back down. I won't lose to you! I won't compromise no matter how many tantrums you may throw :p

~You have to feel it~

Dealing with Pain

I am sure everyone here knows what is pain. Pain comes in many forms. The most common form of pain that we recognize would be physical pain. Be it is toothache, wounds, or self inflicted pain, we always find ways to deal with it. There are people that likes pain, the sensation is converted into pleasure in their mind. But I am not one of them, so no worries =)

There are many ways that people deal with this pain that is mostly unwanted. Pain killers, anesthetic, drugs, smoking, you name it. There are plenty. Bruises after a gruesome sparring session are normally dealt with ice.

For me, I personally find that when I concentrate on my breathing, it eases the feeling. I do wonder why doctors or nurses tell mothers to continue to breathe when delivering their infants. Anyone knows the reason?

When in pain, I find that singing a song helps to ease it too. Anyone ever tried this? I think the main thing that we have to do is to put our concentration on something else and not the on the pain. When we know it hurts and keep thinking about it, the pain will just stay there.

The same concept applies to workaholics and devoted gamers. Their focus is on work/play and when they don't think about food. They can go on the whole day without noticing hunger. But when these guys stumble upon bloggers that constantly blog about food, it reminds them of their hunger. I think most readers also get this. Even when you are not hungry, but looking at the pictures of food on William's or TZ's blog will just make you feel wanting to eat or perhaps a slight hunger. I am really amazed by how our mind could actually control so many things.

~It is all in the mind~

No More Hiding

It has always been a problem for me. I knew I was different. It was always more pain than this. Each try I take a step further. Finally, I am able to see it at full. Naked to the eyes. It didn't look too shabby. No longer hiding. Pulling it back was really tough. But I guess I can't give up. I need to push on to get what I want. I need to be consistent at this if I ever want it to be easier. Practice practice practice. With more experience, I am sure it will get better. That sharp pain is nothing. your sensitivity will lose to my courage and persistence.

~You are so beautiful~

Typical of Bear???

Feeling really tired... I wonder why. I have been sleeping ALOT lately but never seem to have enough of it. So weak... So sleepy... About 9 hours daily and once 12 hours! OMG! Perhaps Bravebear here is affected by the winter??? Hibernate period... Sleep sleep sleep... Nitez eveyone =)

~Sleeping is Good~