Fragile

I was never a fan of Thai movies. I have never watched any movie with a gay love theme till recently. Bear loves happy endings. The sad endings just breaks my heart. I never thought it would leave such a great impact on me. I feel so weak now. Hoping someone would be there for me to pour it all out. Bear knows its just a movie. No need to be so emo. But somehow... the movie reminds me so much of 'him'. The way 'he' caresses me. Jokes with me. Held me in 'his' arms. The way 'he' took my hands and we would walk the streets. The piggyback ride where people would stare at us but we would just ignore. I missed it so much. Hurts so much to think of it.

Even the final scene of the movie. Reminds me of what I asked 'him'. Its as if at that moment I was Mew and 'he' was Tong. After we broke up, I tried to forget him. Hating him. I try my best to avoid him. Whenever he spoke to me I would scold him. So stupid of me. Immature. Childish. 'He' still cared for me. No matter how much I make him angry he wouldn't mind. Only after the movie I realized that 'he' still cared for me even when we couldn't be together. Even at lunch that day, he noticed that I was down. 'He' asked if I was okay. 'He' asked me to tell 'him' whats wrong. The more 'he' cared for me, the more painful it is for me. But I was happy at the same time. From now on lets refer 'him' as J.

~handle with care~